Pragmatic generation

I attended a lunch talk yesterday at the Hub (www.the-hub.net - in case you are interested). The theme of the conversation was social innovation in the city - it came down to social cohesion and how to make it happen in a creative, co-creating way.
I never really thought about the role of generations - Generaton X, Y, Z (Digital Natives), Baby Boomers, Baby Busters, Lost Generation etc. But a gentleman at the lunch talk yesterday said to us: you are a pragmatic generation - you are not fighting against anything, you are fighting FOR what you believe in.
While I agree with that, I still believe I am more of an idealist than a pragmatist. After all, I am Generation Y. Until I looked up on Wikipedia the "List of Generations". It turns out, that being born in 1980 still puts me in the Generation X category. Which is a wake up call,
I am looking at my birth date now.... 1980. It really sounds so last millennium.
Pragmatist last millennium. So I sit here and try not to get too passionate about the things I find important, about things I disagree with, about anything. I am trying be be a pragmatist Generation X person.
But since I find it difficult, it gives me hope that I may just not fit the usual description of any generation, since I was born in a particular part of the world, with specific experiences that did not make the Generation X features strong in me.
After all, Generation X,Y,Z only fits some people, not so much others. And that's fine. We do not need to squeeze ourselves into tight little boxes.
Let's just be - passionate or pragmatic - whatever works for you!

Working together

So I decided to put my energy and effort into a for profit initiative to bring awareness to businesses on sustainable practices. For almost nothing, for less than unemployment benefit (it's also true that I am not entitled to this "uitkering"). Full time. Getting the project off the ground, lots of things done.

A kind person recently told me that "You must be really desperate to make a difference!". I smiled. And now I smile again. For for a different reason. One has ultimately no one else to blame for certain choices but themselves.

Being into personal development and community building, yet also on the journey of defining my borders, I took the role on and tried to be assertive, yet hard working. Working a lot, delivering results for almost nothing. For helping a company to build a project I would not be around to enjoy the benefits of. Fully understanding that I do it for the purpose, for large companies rethinking certain ways. Yet, I also hoped to generate open communication and feedback loops.

I got my feedback this morning, while getting ready to engage some organisations for potential partnership. It said, "Thank you, that's it. We work with different rules. You can leave. Now."
Oops, that is normally not what an open, adaptive organisation would say. At least for sure they would not start the conversation with this. So, here I am, feeling better about not working for something I believe in with people I find hard to believe in. When you look back, it becomes all clear, the messages you should have picked up on earlier. It did not happen, though. So I smile. Yes, maybe I was just a tiny bit to desperate to make a difference since I have no agreement on paper. If with nothing else at all, I will walk away richer. In experience.

Sometimes you are not aware of the things you are capable of doing. In this role, I could sometimes hardly believe the success I achieved in a day. Real confidence boost.
I also learnt that there are many people out there not open to personal development, and despite being great people, they still hold on too tight to the command & control type of management.

I learnt that I need to watch my back better. And that I need to find ways to get people to talk before they explode and there is no way back.
Well, all in all, it was great. But I hope I won't do it again! :-)

High Potential

Last night - one of my volunteer activities - I had the opportunity to work with 20+ high potential "allochtonen" - non-Dutch students. They were between 20 and 24, working at banks, municipalities, doing UN internships, etc. There was so much ambition in the room, that I wondered how I will manage to ask them "What do you still need to improve about yourself?". They did not need improvement - in their own perception. So we did an exercise. It was a challenge to keep them focused and invite them to re-examine their ways.
I did a similar exercise last year. With the previous group. Yesterday, some of them came to share their experience from the year long program. I remember, last year the room was full of ambitions and will, too. I was wondering how last year's group has changed. And they have changed - they have become more grounded, calm, but did not lose their determination. They were fully present. One of them said that she met a lot of people, great networking opportunities. And not only can you network for yourself, but also for the others. So I thought, how great! They have become aware of the true power of networking. Just do it and make the best connections happen. Don't worry, you will not lose your position by letting other benefit from your network.

I also saw this high potentials as hungry for success. Do the morally right thing. I am still an idealist, but I have given up looking for absolute answers. They haven't. It is also fine to be very ambitious and embark on a corporate journey. It may be the right journey for some. All I would like to help them see, that there are alternatives to that journey. That there are no absolute answers and it's a matter of balancing ways forward. Why not try doing good and doing well, for example?

Can you ever get over it?

I am not even fully aware of the definition of social intelligence, but I intuitively think, that smiling and being nice to those around you is part of it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Netherlands, and admire their egalitarian approach to everything. I like how they do not make big deals out of things.
On the other hand, having to prepare for your interaction with those working in the service industry as one would prepare for a minor battle, does take a lot of energy. I just came back from the pharmacy... I felt terrible about daring to disturb the ladies standing in front of shelves reaching up to the ceiling, not wearing a white coat, putting boxes here and there and then back here, for signature and then with a piece of paper back there.
My box of medicine was within the reach of my arm, on the counter, but it has not been checked out yet by the head pharmacist (?). So I stood. Like the other fellow intruders, we were taken for thin air. We were even afraid to talk to each other not to disturb the box relocating process. But frustration was building up.
I just want that little box. I do not mind any more the state of health insurance, I am willing to pay for it. Just let me have it. But no... Ultimately one of the ladies came over and after 10 minutes of soundless waiting, almost a tear of despair in my eye, I got the box!!! Victory!
I left the pharmacy, feeling the cold Amsterdam air felt so refreshing, I was not the intruder at the pharmacy any more.
And now I needed milk. But I could pick it up at the supermarket where I did not have to wait at the mercy of shopkeeper, I just took it from the shelf and rejoice the young girl at the counter, who does not look at me and looks extremely bored, but at least she scans all my groceries in 20 seconds and I am out and free of the service industry again...for hours!!!!
Still, I will not get it. Everyone likes being smiled at. Do not people in the service industry understand that smiling is the first step to building lasting relationships with clients?
Or am I missing out on something?

The luxury problem

Given the current economic downturn, many people have found themselves out of jobs and struggling to find their next engagement. Most people are out of their usual jobs by necessity, not so much by choice.
In that respect, I belonged to the luckier ones - I have decided to move on despite an offer to stay. Once you know what matters to you and you know what capacities you have to contribute to making your dream job happen, you just have to go. In turns out that many young people realised at the same time as myself, that having a CSR related, responsible and connected job is what they want. This made a market in Amsterdam rather saturated. I have heard that to positions where previously 10 people would apply, organizations are now receiving over 200 applications. It's even so hard to make sure anyone actually has the time to read all those CVs and motivation letters through.
And it's just as hard to stay motivated as a job seeker.
I was again on the lucky end of the spectrum, I was volunteering for an NGO I highly admired and we created some interesting programs. Yet at the end of the day, some income is necessary to keep going. So I kept looking.
And then it happened.
The luxury problem - I got 3 job offers in one week. All the the range of what I was looking for, with minor trade offs. What do you do? Which way do you take? How do you explain to yourself and those who offered you the jobs you end up not taking why you decided the way you did?
So I googled the solution: "How to build a good career" - I looked up all the criteria that you should base your decision on.
I talked to a motivational speaker and asked him what he would do. I tried to sleep over it. And nothing, I was still struggling to decide. I was blaming it on my zodiac (I am a libra). But still...
And then, I went about it the other way.
I asked why would I accept each of the offer. And I came to the core of the issue. If I accepted one, eventually, I would be very exhausted from commuting. The other one I would have accepted for the team. And the third I would have accepted for myself, for my ambition, to prove to myself that I can make it.
Success is still not guaranteed. But I made my choice. At least temporarily (the offer is temporary).
So, sad story turned good story turned reality. Let's see where this road leads.
The cups in the picture have nothing to do with the text. I just liked the picture. And the are three cups, all slightly different. And I had 3 offers.