Learning Dutch

This post serves 2 purposes:
1) I can finally show off that I started taking Dutch classes - all for free, as my Inburgerings Cursus (I am going to be "citizenned")
2) Share a thought I had on Saturday when I was all excited to do my homework. So, there was this exercise in which I had to put the verb in particular form. One of them said: Ik ben een sigaret aan het roken. (I am smoking a cigarette.) So I smiled to myself. And then I realized, that in most language books the exercises are always politically correct and straightforward. I thought making me write a sentence about me smoking and me not being a smoker is maybe a bit of a stretch. And then I thought, how authentic it is from the authors of the book to use this sentence. And also, why is it that most exercises are not like this. That they are politically correct? Why is it that we want to show a great and noble and "non-smoking" image of ourselves when creating a book for foreigners who want to learn our language? Once they learn it, they're going to find out anyway what we really stand for... Is is hypocrisy or are we trying to live up to the image we want others to have of us?
I hope to know more by the end of the second book...

Guerilla Art Kit

I got this cool present from some frineds of mine, it's called Guerilla Art Kit - it's about making your environment nicer, greener, better and help others feel good in the greyness of everydays. You can make personal presents for others, spend time thinking about them and creating something for them. Not as convenient as Xlas shopping last minute at the mall, but I hope it communicates a different message to those you care about. Just like sending Xmas cards :-)

Health Insurance Company

So, as you probably know, health insurance rules are different in each EU Member State. Insurance companies' immunity and persistance makes moving around Europe sometimes hell. In some countries you have a public insurance, elsewhere a compulsory privave one and in other countries a combination of the two. You have to subscribe to them at different ages in each country and better bear in mind your (un)employment status as well as length of stay in the given country.
Yesterday I picked up the phone, ready to call my local health insurance and ask them to issue a confirmation of my insurance that will allow me to terminate my contract with the public insurer in another country. I was at unease, not wanting to go throught the whole explanation and getting the response "Why do you people move around so much". After all, one of these years (was it 2006?) was the European Year of Mobility, and yes, there are plenty of low cost airlines, only bureaucracy makes life hell at any destination. I just want a piece of paper with a stamp and signature on it.
So with these not so pink thoughts in my mind, I picked up the phone and dialled a number I found on the insurance company's website (I was sure they would transfer me 20 times before anybody will listen to me).
The phone rang on the other end and somebody (!) picked up after 2 rings. This person was not only real, but also fluent in English. After a 10 second short talk I shared my request with the gentleman on the other end of the line. He listened and asked for my postal code and house number. After he identified me, he said I can expect the English version of the requested document in 2-3 working days at my home address. I thanked him, still in disbelief, and hung up.
What has just happened? A massive insurance company finally got the message through to its employees: Customer first? Or was this person new at his job and did not have the longing to leave, yet? Or was he just kidding me...
I cannot be sure as the document has not arrived, yet. But I am hopeful. And still, laughing at myself as all my negative energy and preparation for war was in vain. At least I hope so :-)

A beautiful Sunday

Since today was an unusually beautiful day in Amsterdam, we went to the Amsterdam forest to a goat farm. I know its terrible, but since I lived all my life in cities, I never really had the chance to feed baby goats - and they are so sweet http://www.geitenboerderij.nl/.
We also cheered for some marathon runners (today was the Amsterdam Marathon day) on the way home and I was thinking this day could not get any better.
Until I got home and turned on CNN where apart from talking about Joe the Plimber - who by the way scares me with his attitude - I heard Colin Powel just endorsed Barack Obama. Wow! It was not really about me supporting Obama, more about finally thinking outside the box and not doing as one is expected to! My respect to Colin!
And after all this excitement, there's still a good book, a chat with friends and a delicious dinner awaiting me. What more on Earth could one wish for?

The Economist Newsletter

The Economist has always proved to be a reliable source of information on the world out there. I have subscribed to the free weekly newsletter quite some time ago and for some strange reason have not read it for almost a year now. Until tonight. I thought it provides synthesized, relevant information. And indeed, it does. Only this time, in the "Economy" section it did not talk about mergers and new businesses but about central banks saving the severely limping privately owned banks throughout the world. Indeed, what happened to capitalism and market forces...
Strange times...you can bid for Iceland on eBay...and Joerg Haider died in a car accident. Rather turbulent...but surprising?

Depression

I am so happy these days! I would say happiness stands in the way of reflection and deep thinking, but it brings positive thoughts, smiles and good intention to the surface. So I am happy about being happy. Even the sun is shining today!
When you feel down, you question everything, you feel like floating in uncertainty, not seeing the way out. Once you're happy you ask why would you be looking for a way out...a way out from where? To where?
And ulitmately, I think feeling happy is sometimes a matter of choice to ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE :-)
Cheers!

Goosebumps

First of all, I have heard of the great software called Thinking Rock that can capture and structure your ideas - I might get one of those if my mind lets me down many more times!
So, goosebumps: I have realized yesterday what when my team mates were writing with a particular marker on paper, I got the goosebumps big time. But when it was my turn to write, the marker made the exact same sound, but I did not mind. Another proof of how we are more tolerant with ourselves. Or maybe it is the proof of something else, but I do not know so if you know a shrink who has a good explanation, get him to write a comment. Cheers!

The Coercive Power of Good

Most of us know of people who do not do only good things to the planet or the society. People who have a vision that disregards certain parts of the system. It even seems that most people are prevailingly destructive. But somehow the system still sticks together. Somehow we are still trying to be nice to each other, to think positive, to be positive. In my view, that means that good prevails all that is not good. And that nothing is lost, even if sometimes things look hopeless.
So I feel happy, don't you?

Brilliant Idea

Last night before going to sleep I had this brilliant idea! And then I fell asleep. Since then, I do not remember the brilliant idea. They say if something is really important, it comes back to your mind. Well, this idea is still out there. Maybe it was brilliant but not so important? It would be cool to have a camera to take pictures of ideas. Then you just click and and save it and dial back to it any time you feel like it. Now writing the idea down is sometimes more difficult, as it normally has a context which can be rather time consuming to capture in words. That is why my idea escaped and may never come back to me.
But I have also noticed, that some of my ideas of which I think are really innovative and creative have already been thought of by someone else and there is an entire website, library, etc. written about it. But to me the ideas seem so great - only until I discover that I am not the original author of them...

Focusing

I read the other day that "focus is leadership". So true. If you pay attention to something, especially if you notice small details and remember them, you rule! Once someone told me at an interview not to use "yeah" again. And I really listened to this comment and did not use it again. I did not get the job - apparently I was too good since I learnt after one reminder.
But this is a tiny example. If you remember people's concerns, hobbies, family members' names etc. and ask about them, they will consider you a caring, nice person and will listen to you. Dealing with people who believe you care seems like a rewarding activity.
Focusing on small bits of information also helps us navigate in this world, too. But one only true active listening, and not mere downloading enables one to focus in as well as see the broad picture, the context of a conversation.

On Infrastructure

So we have roads. Airlines. We are mobile. And we have mobile phones. These things are supposed to connect us. Just like Facebook and LinkedIn.
And we have personal goals and clear opinions. We know for ourselves what we want and we do not want others to "manipulate" or "brainwash" us, or to influence our individual decisoin-making process in any way. So we consciously gather only information WE want to have, not the whole picture. This is called downloading. Individualised, disconnected pieces of information.
Now once set set out on our journey on our infrastructure to not just arrive at a particular (geographical) point, but also learn to live the journey, to talk to people and to listen to what they have to say, maybe we'll learn listening. And we'll phase out donwloading.
There is so much knowledge in this world, all around us. We should just learn to listen to it and use the infrastucture to mutual enrichment and to increase the quality of our lives...we have added quite a few years to our life, now it's time to start adding life to our years, maybe.

On admiring people

Role models are really important to me. But what happens most of the time is that when one discovers an admirable person he/she tends to look up to him/her without conditions. Once the admired person becomes better known to the admirer, certain imperfections tend to surface. Then comes the disappointment - the admired person is not worth being followed any more. After some time, comes acceptance of the fact that the admired person is just a human being and thus it is just normal for him/her to act human. And humans are not perfect, we all know that. But every now and then we get hooked in the perfection loop and want to discover a person without faults.
Worse than that, this world seems to be also short of authentic people. And even if we all have faults, at least some of us really try to be authentic. Authentic people - with faults - are the ones I really find admirable. They help me reflect on my actions, to try harder to be an honest human being with respect for my environment and community, to live according to some values and discipline. To try to be authentic! Until I end up in yet another perfection loop...

I'm part of it now

I have been trying to resist Facebook for a long time. I am on IWIW (a Hungarian network) and on Linked In, but I have always avoided Facebook. Until one day I gave in to collective pressure and started virtual small talks and socialisation. It is actually not as overwhelming as I thought! And it's nice to find friends from high school and university! I hope they are all doing well, after all it seems a bit too much to send everyone a separate email!
So, let us engage in meaningful conversations online that will hopefully be followed by actions...

Home

Where do you feel at home? I would like to say that I feel at home on my blog. In my diary. Anywhere drinking a glass of red wine in the company of great people. I guess it is true. But I also feel attached to geographic locations. Don't you? A location has a weather, culture, architecture, feeling, people...so much! I am stretching the limits of where I feel at home...I would like to feel at home anywhere in Europe. Sometimes it is not that easy though, as we have often commitments in the place we were born, raised, educated and offered other experiences. We are only visitors in this world, but we get so attached to it. Strange. Why do we do that?

What matters more

This is a transparent bottle, really. But if you look further, to the inside, you find a little magic in there. Now if the bottle was dirty or scratched from the outside, that would make it somewhat harder to appreciate the beauty residing inside of it. Now imagine the bottle as clean as it is, with nothing inside. Then this bottle would not be particularly interesting, would it?
I guess both matter: the outside and the inside. In my humble opinion, the inside matters more. But this is the reflection of my individual taste. The inside of people (their soul), of food and drinks (the taste), of any place we go (the inner experience) always matters more to me than the outside.
But saying that the outside is negligible would be a blunt lie, too. We just have to find a healthy balance...I am still looking :-)

Buzz of life

Everyone's life is buzzing. Elections here, earthquakes there, charitable activities....anyway, I was thinking: without having never really been there: ever heard of Professor Stephen Hawking? One of the most outstanding scientists since Einstein, beyond doubt. But there's more to him than knowledge: there's strength! And if you don't know him yet, make sure you find out more...it will be a very rewarding learning experience - and multidisciplinary!

Spring

when you smell the change, subtle and soft....and you feel there is new life flowing in your veins...and sometimes you do not even know why, but you slow down your pace, smile at a stranger...that is when spring starts. A hope for new beginnings, of cleaning the dust left behind by winter, a feeling of awakening euphoria...SPRING!!! And on top of that there are brand new duck families on the canals....

Who is in charge?

Our body is a fantastic...it tells us all kinds of stuff about how it feels and what it needs. But it does not tell us when we have already had enough food (or it does, but you really have to listen). So, I learnt today, that we really have to respect it and pay attention to it. Just love it a little more and train it!
Well, one things is to talk, let's see if I ever move to action!

Forever

This picture is from Joseph Breitenbach. I am not sure why it is called Forever. Nevertheless, it is. What is forever? We human beings pretend that we'll be around forever. But we won't. I wonder, if you knew you'd die soon, why would you fight for a comfortable life instead of testing your limits and seizing the day? If you look around, the luxury we live in is build and created because we think we'll be around forever to benefit from it.

How many people die every day. And more are born. There are billions of us. Many billions of us already died and the world still goes on. Millions of people are in this world who are lost, lonely, hurt, or those who have brilliant ideas but cannot break through. Our existence is so insignificant if we lose our belonging to a context, a system, a network - to nature, to emotional sanity and honesty to ourselves and others.

Still our existence still has a meaning. In its modest way. And that is what we should be grateful for and rediscover ... ourselves. A brave new world would emerge if we'd finally stop pretending so much, huh?

We look so alike...but we aren't

Sometimes I find it striking how all human beings look alike. Of course, we are the same species. But what is more interesting than our similar appearance is how different we are underneath. When you look at a person, you can guess if the person is happy or sad, or if the person is dull or charismatic. But there is a lot more to it than that. Imagine, even parents and children have very different personalities and sometimes even values. On the surface, they look alike, but below the surface... one may save lives every day as a doctor whereas the other feels nausea from the sight of blood. One looks sure of himself and the other is shy, yet has a profound soul and mind. But all these qualities take time to reveal. It is exciting. Some find it extremely boring to talk about these kinds of things and look into exact sciences or just have to devote all their energy to survive from one day to another.

And on top of it all, depending on the circumstances one grows up in, "good" and "bad" differ according to culture. We are very complex beings.
On the other hand we all are determined by the pursuit of happiness. That's a thing we all have in common. And one more thing: the source of happiness is always inside of us. Hidden in our complex existence.

Fascinating people!

It's a dark picture, I know. This is Meky Zbirka, the all time favourite Slovak "soft rock" singer. He was the ultimate hit of the 80's and gave a concert just a few days ago in Brussels. Among others he sang John Lennon's anthem, "Imagine". It's always uplifting to listen to it...
Por o caso (by the way) on the day of the concert I went to a conference on mobility/migration in Europe. And there I saw a quote saying "The more we share, the more we have!". What wonderful thought...even though lately we are not good at sharing at all...
So this is a message to those who care, who look for inspiration and who believe that they can make a difference.
Listen to "Imagine" and try to share something with a stranger today!
It's a start :-)

The power of our brains

Have you realized that the "truth" we percieve to be out there, our "reality" is created in our brains through the limitations and norms we impose on ourselves?

It is amazing how even neighbours and siblings live in different realities....

That is why it reveals so much about this world when you just observe the others, when you look outside the window of the moving bus and try to picture yourself in the situation of a bypasser. I am amazed.

And it teaches you a lot, too!

About literature and the state of my soulbird

I have a bird in my soul. But you also do. Have you noticed? If not, just try to listen to something isnide of you and maybe you'll discover him. If it seems hard but you speak German, look up the poem called Der Seelenvogel by Michael Snunit, Na'ama Golomb. Maybe that will wake your soulbird up.
So, once he's awake, you'll feel some things differently. You'll feel the soulbird's mood. Especially when you are under emotional shocks.
Since I like reading, novels that is, my soulbird reacts to the morals of the books I read. I have noticed, that just like in visual arts, it is not the style and technique of writing any more that makes a piece of literature good (even though that matters, too), but the ideas. How daring the book is, how shockingly do the protagonists behave.
Letely I was reading about boys being raped, about a wife having breast cancer and dying from it whereas her husband falls in love with someone else. And we all know true stories of adultery, lies and thieves from our own surrounding. So it is not so hard to imagine, that whatever we read in the books, is actually going on around us and we just have been oblivious to it.

And that is when my soulbird is most confused.

I believe in things changing, in progress, in people being able to be honest and reliable and truthful. I believe that what we feel now, just after we passed quarter of a century of age, is the truth we accept and according to which we will live. Or are least I really would like it to be true.
I would like to comfort those who love me and care about me. I would like to be there for them.
Am I lying to myself?

Overpowered

like exploding from energy or like given too much power?
Is either of them any good?
Still, right now I would like to feel both. But somehow it feels that often we are not in control and someone has drained our energy. Maybe it is a good idea to start doing yoga. The hatha version :-)
Happy New Year to everyone! I got this numerical picture from http://ideiasenlatadas.blogspot.com/. This is the ad spot!