Transforming societies - one step at a time

My most used quote these days is: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
This applies to all aspects of life. Since I have started paying attention to my self- development, I realized that there are many people out there who are at a high stage of their self awareness. I may have known some of them for a while and never noticed their consciousness and deliberate attitude, but now I see it. And I also tell others who are not yet working on their self development what a fantastic process this is. Time and circumstances have to be right for each one of us to dare to embark on it. And once you do, you notice the changes right away.

Last night at a birthday party of a friend there were a number of people thinking about how they can contribute to transforming societies. The idea of needing to change the current economic paradigm has been around for quite a while. We talked about the Venus Project, Peerby or the concept of Enoughness. I started by talking to one person. Then the next person got interested in the conversation and soon most people at the party were talking about it. That's how eating an elephant goes. Some creative designers and scientists have been calling our attention to needing to go back to basics and redefining the way we live for decades now. Our generation is becoming really ready to embrace it - from trying to live healthier, looking for meaningful ways to make a living, to understanding that they need to change their consumption patterns. And many more people will realize in the months and years to come the need to change the way we live as humanity - many of us disconnected from our environment and many in extreme poverty and no way out of their difficult lives. The trend is growing - the little threads of individual thought processing are being woven into stronger ones and together we'll build the fabric of change, al of us contributing our unique bit to the big puzzle.

I am very grateful for being able to couple my personal development to a growing trend in society. It will be a very exciting journey!

The purpose of life

As if I knew it.
But I read something that sounded smart.
The purpose of life is to live in the moment and take in all the experiences we are offered and the ones we proactively create. It is to grow and to expand continuously. To push ourselves physically and mentally. (We're just watching an episode of Rick Stein's trip to Italy. Rick Stein lives the purpose of life: he loves food, loves good life and shares his passion with all those willing to watch :) A very inspiring chef and food poet!)

So, my commitment for the week: be a bon vivant, do something new every day, and meditate (well, empty my head) for 10 minutes every morning!
And hopefully I will keep the commitment for the week after.
And I hope that I will learn to listen to myself better and learn more about myself in the process. 

The modern slavery

Here's what I realized:

Our kids will kinda judge us for just like we judge our ancestors for colonialism. But maybe we are doing the same, only are not really aware of it because we do not see it - like our addiction to cheap everything: that we do not care about the invisible Turkish kids picking hazelnuts for our chocolate filling, about the people being poisoned by pesticides for our bananas or work 16 hour-shifts in sweatshops or how animals are tortured and slaughtered for cheap meat.

This all comes down to one thing - our disconnect from those who do not have a voice strong enough to be heard beyond their confined space of existence. We know they exist. But we do not see them or hear them.

But then again, people in their 20s are becoming more aware of this and take action: through the Slow Food Movement, Wakker Dier, Made By, and many other organizations that are tackling these issues. Society is waking up to these issues and within a few years there'll be a critical mass of people being aware and conscious of these topics and things will change for the better. 

You and I should do our share, too. Every time I purchase something, I cast a vote. It's the voice I have. And the voice you have. Let's use it wisely.

PS: 

I wanted to visit my blog yesterday and could not find it - a long time has passed since my last post. I would like to say something to sum those 16 months up. They were great ;-)

Earthlings

A documentary with a fresh perspective - on us, all Earthlings, regardless of the species we belong to. A beautiful- and painful - documentary that you can view at home free of charge on the Earthlings.com website.
A 10 minute summary can also be viewed on the Films for Action site.

This movie is not only powerful and inspiring in itself, it has a very strong ability to help the viewer reconnect to the big picture. To how things are interconnected and how to find the spot each and every one of us fits best in.

Give yourself some time to let it sink in, to reflect what is really means!

The practice

One of the assignments Prof Boyatzis gave was to have a meeting in which we strive to be inspiring, coach with compassion. Easier said than done!

I had a couple of meetings where I tried to ask the right questions to trigger a thought process in my conversation partner, but I am not sure I succeeded. So I was thinking, why?

My working hypothesis is that I was too focused on the outcome, on the impression I'd make, rather than just be in the moment and let things take their own course. I find it generally difficult to just be - and allow things to emerge slowly and naturally. This is definitely an improvement point for me.

Today I decided to spend the day in silence - I was attending to everyday chores, but decided not to play any music, movie, or radio. Just me, my thoughts, the quiet buzz of the fridge and whatever sounds enter from the street through the open windows. Actually, this is already quite a palette of sounds. But none of them tried to pass a particular piece of information to me.
And so by mid afternoon I thought, what is MINDFULNESS?

Is that what I need to practice? How? How do I know when I am in the right state of mind?
For starters, I guess I do not know. But I think building a practice of silence, awareness and mental presence is something that will certainly not hurt me.

Coming back to my initial question - how to be inspiring and coach with compassion - I think for me the beginning is to admit that it's better something that happens naturally at first rather than me planning it for each and every meeting I have. Maybe through simply focusing on listening and being in the moment I will help my conversation partner feel energized!

Prof Boaytzis on Resonant Leadership

Watch a short and interesting video by Prof Boyatzis here. Very interesting speech on resonant leadership!

As I am immersing myself more and more in this journey towards "what really matters to me, what am I really passionate about", I catch myself being stuck in the loop of "but how do I find time to engage with all of this".

I have long ago given up on using the excuse that I do not have time for something. One has time for everything one wants to do - it's a matter of priorities. To a great extent, anyway.

Now imagine, most of us have (1) a full time job, (2) a hobby, (3) a family, and like to get (8) a decent amount of sleep a day. In addition to this comes cooking, commuting, exercise, relaxation and socializing, to mention the bare minimum. Relaxation is a must - and so is socializing, for mental sanity and for a balance in out everyday lives. (Having just read an article recently about some of the top leaders in which they all say they meditate every day! Emptying our head is quintessential and it it's just too often that we forget to do it.)

But then how does one integrate the core purpose and passion into everything we do? It most likely should not be something "on top" of everything we already do.  Most of us have a job, a set of tasks to perform at work and outside of it and some social commitments (towards family and friends). With our days filled with to-dos, how can we practice mindfulness, presence, resonant leadership and work towards our personal and professional vision?

Or how can we come up with a vision that is applicable to us both on a personal and a professional level? Where is the balance? And once found, how can we maintain it?

I think I am starting to see parts of an answer that I will find workable, but I would like to receive your insight on it as well.

Seth Godin shows The Dip

It is obvious that there are many great books, philosophies, inspirational speakers and other tools that can help us on our journey to discover what we really want to achieve, where we really find meaning and purpose in life.

One of these tools may well be Seth Godin's latest book, The Dip.

This visual outlines the journey, really. When we start off, things seem positive. Then a moment comes when we need to reconsider if we are still on the right path. Are we still following my northern star - do we still know where I am going? What are the things we should give up on and what are the things we should push through? Perseverance might pay off, if applied to the right areas of work/life. These any many other questions are covered in The Dip, a very useful and worthwhile read available in bookstores globally. Pick up a copy and let's discuss what you though of it!

But now back to the personal development: Before deciding about the steps on the journey, I find it critically important to come up with a personal vision - and mission statement. This statement naturally changes over time, but it's essence remains, it engrained in our values, our personality, our skills and development areas.

On the above visual some of the possible elements of a personal vision and purpose are outlined. But maybe some are missing - and others do not mean much to us. That is why a very personalized journey is necessary for each of us. The journey is not short. But it's worth it. And it should start with identifying what is going well and what is off track in our lives - followed by the formulation of a personal vision.

I just took on Coursera.org an online course on Emotional Intelligence by Prof. Boyatzis. We also covered Resonant Leadership and Personal Vision in class - please do access info on this online. It's extremely insightful. And I will cover a small part of in in my next blog post.

What is the best way to work towards "happiness"?

As said in my previous post, there are several alternative "journeys" to help figure out what we ultimately long for. All start by a realization that we are not too happy in this given moment. Then comes the "take a step back" moment in which we ask ourselves what we really want.

From having asked the question to figuring out an answer, there are alternative routes. There are two routes I would like to mention.

One of them requires a longer journey, in line with the Theory U. This is not a quick fix, but is hopefully a thorough one in which we answer many critical questions about what we are passionate about and how can we sustain our own happiness and fulfillment. This journey asks us not to jump into conclusions, not to want to draw up a plan of action within a couple of hours. Instead it invites us to reflect, to get to know ourselves better and reach a deep point of awareness from where on then part of a grand solution will start emerging. Many people combine this journey with meditation, taking a sabbatical leave or otherwise defining a space in which they can be undisturbed.

Then there is another route, a more action oriented one, where we try to figure out what makes us tick, what exactly we are good at and what we could improve, how to build a practice of asking meaningful questions, what topics we are passionate about, etc. I think it is again important not to jump into conclusions and expect to come up with a grand plan within a day, but it is definitely a process where we proactively expose ourselves to new influences, triggers and impressions.

Now that I have the time, I have to admit my journey resembles to the second one, the more proactive one. I keep asking myself questions such as what really bothers me, what do I do well, how do I contribute to my surrounding, what are my hobbies, what values do I really believe in, how do I get inspired and how to I inspire others, what purpose do I look for or how can I build my personal happiness strategy knowing that my priorities and ambitions shift every day.

It is a very interesting journey. I feel blessed to have the time and personal space to go through it. I am sure my questions are recurring ones and every couple of years or so one should go through a reflective journey. But I know that in our everyday lives it is very difficult to find the mental space for it. All I am saying: it's worth it.

Next time I will share some thoughts about the simple things we can do to help us get into the right mood to reflect on what's wrong - or if there is anything wrong.

It's been a year

It seems just fair to write again after a year of sabbatical leave from blogging.
Much has changed in the world and also for me - the course of the overall development is generally positive.
People are more engaged in community projects, there is more information available online about everything. With more info also comes more clutter and the need to learn to navigate and to rise above everyday "noise".

This is maybe also my very own, personal journey. How can I filter out what really matters? How can I make sense of all the things heard / said / seen? How can I keep an independent mind when it's so tempting to let go and be carried by a random wave of trend, external influences or majority opinions?

I am not sure if I will be able to communicate clearly enough about the progress of my journey, but I will try.

Most importantly, I would like to point to sources that can help: World Wide Web (namely sources such as coursera.org or the Happiness Project. Or TED. And many others).

Also, there are two very distinct non-virtual places where parts of the answers are hidden: inside of each and every one of us. And inside of those individuals that makes us feel empowered. Maybe it's worth setting aside time to talk to ourselves and to our empowering fellow citizens to understand what we are truly looking for and what gives us a feeling of resilience and meaningfulness.

Next time around, I will discuss 2 distinct ways of figuring things out: (1) by trying not to run towards answers and by (2) by trying to get many new impulses to see which one is my trigger.

Films for Action - for starters

The best new website: www.filmsforaction.org

I watched a short documentary on it last night. They mentioned Nonviolent Communication on it. So then I spent 3 hours watching Marshall Rosenberg on youtube explaining jackal and giraffe language. I hope I have learnt something. My past 20 hours (since the 3 hours with Marshall) were quite harmonious. Let's see how tomorrow will be. How long will I remember to phrase my statements of please and thank you the right way.

Ok, so, apart from the Nonviolent Communication, the 25-minutes-documentary also spoke about the global consciousness we need to mainstream in order to spread the awareness of sustainability issues. This means: climate change is a global thing, people we do not see every day might suffer from its consequences more than we do. The economically worst off are the ones at the end of the supply chain, the farmers and factory workers without whom we would not live in the illusion of plenty. But since we do not see them on an everyday basis, they are not part of our consciousness. This problem is addressed in the "Think Global" statement.

On the other hand, we do not need to act globally most of the time - we can try to avoid depending on a global financial system, consume produce from the other side of the globe, etc. Ultimately, we need to learn to re-connect to our immediate local environments as much as possible. To try to find a job locally, to buy locally sourced food (or grow your own), to help the development of your city and country as much as you can. Of course it's great to help someone far away, but doing it relying at the end of the supply chains might not be the best approach. Ultimately, the point is to "Act Local".

Important to point out is that GO CHECK the FILMS FOR ACTION page, watch a movie and think about what it means. There is so much awesome creative knowledge out there, honestly, we need to harvest it better!

Ok, now a truly life changing experience to me today - next to the walnut muffins with coffee cream topping - is the discovery of coursera.org - just signed up for a course on Model Thinking!!!

Long live open source, creative commons and other awesome platforms for information sharing!

Off to have a muffin. I made it :-)

What's new?

Not much and lots. Still no big issues with wrinkles or white hear.

Still taking Zumba classes. Still contemplating what to do with my blog (they say I am not very decisive. I was sure the diagnosis was wrong, but maybe it had a point after all.)

Still happy. Occasionally less so, but it's all just a question of perspective.

Still working. Sometimes maybe too much.

But I need to step up the cake making effort. It has slowed down since we got the new crib. Maybe semi-professional ovens scare me.

Ok, new is: biked all the way to the coast and back in the same day and took a dip in the North Sea. Went to Terschelling. Got ourselves a mortgage. Finished Atlas Shrugged. Bought a bike on Marktplaats (after previous - awesome - bike got stolen).

Decided not to wear my wedding dress (purple) to other people's weddings.

The balance is not too bad, I think. Point being, there is not one topic I could stick to in one blog post, but next tie around I will prepare better and will try to add some value :-) Even though there is already plenty of value in this world, so maybe I do not need to add much. But that triggers a whole different line of thought and I do not necessarily want to get started on that...

Good night, jo ejszakat!

I'm going to Leonard Cohen with Priyanka tomorrow :-))) I am super excited about it - an artist I think everyone should see live at least once!

Tiago kooks rabbit stew

Slow cooking, local sourcing, spending quality time with friends around the stove and the table - this is all part of Dutchie Amsterdam experience. And much more!
It's an ideal option for family gatherings and food lovers' reunions!

To read the full article: http://www.parool.nl/parool/nl/5293/THUISETEN/article/detail/3256673/2012/05/19/Thuiseten-Hollandse-pot-van-Tiago.dhtml

Food

There is so much talk of it! From neighborhood bbqs, film festivals, tv shows (several a day), food around me 24 hours a day, supermarkets and restaurants on every corner, one cannot avoid to think it's pentiful everywhere.
How wrong this assumption is! There are still thousands of kids and adults dieing every day as a consequence if hunger or severe malnutrition. They are passing away because they have no access to food (and safe drinking water for that matter).
How severe distribution inequalities are- how much food goes daily to waste and how many kids dream of a better tomorrow with something to eat for breakfast? When will we fix systemic failures? When will we meet the millenium development goals?
When will there be no more starving kids?
I am still looking at a cooking show.
I am not adding a photo - hungry kids should not be photographed and displayed for our entertainment! They should be fed!

Social Media

I decided to abandon my blog again. But a certain friend, an unnamed architect who's office is around the corner from our house, yes, you! - said that I should keep writing.

So this is my story of re-discovering social media:
I opened a Twitter account in 2010. Actually, I've been on Facebook since 2007. And before that I was an active iwiw (Hungarian Facebook) user. My first email account was set up...in about 1996.
I am still a fan of emails and prefer to use my yahoo account instead of gmail (this personal preference is subjective and is not based on an expert analysis).

Okay, so, I opened the twitter account in 2010. And I have been writing this blog on and off since 2005. At some point, I stopped writing blogposts because my thought became random and short. I do not think it's; too bad, only that under the influence of my work and lifestyle, I have learnt to express myself briefly (ok, not everyone will agree with that).
So, a tweet has the right length (in my opinion) to throw in an idea and add a reference to a spot on the world wide web where more can be read about the idea.

In 2010 i did not find twitter fun. In 2012 i do. I use it as a "professional short messaging service". And this is what it comes down to: I find it strange to connect to groups I appreciate at a professional level on Facebook and I find it important to keep tweets professional.
I know I am also supposed to use LinkedIn for professional purposes. I do that to update my CV etc, but not for short updates. That is something best done through twitter.

For example, tonight I wanted to write about the concert of Carlos do Carmo, how in made me think about "everyone has their own circus and bread" and how we live in denial. But I do not seem to be able to put the links between the fragments of the thoughts down explicitly enough. So I look for someone else on the web who has done so already. And I simply add a link to their work on my social media platform: http://www.thefastertimes.com/classicalmusic/2009/07/09/classical-vs-pop-bread-and-circuses/

Well, it's based on the flawed assumption that classical music is necessarily better (more intelligent) than pop music. I think this is something many of us believe without ever questioning why. More on this next time!

Second hand shopping

I am a huge fan of second hand shopping, especially for my wardrobe! Actually, i go beyond second hand, i am obsessed by flea market bargains!
While in Mozambique, i noticed that ecxept for some high street shops that sold clothes made in some far Eastern countries and some shops of global brands, everyone was selling second hand clothes. Even the fancy boutiques by the hotel entrances! But most people were selling second hand clothes that were donated to charities in Europe and North America. The clothes are spread out on the pavement and street sellers loudly advertize their items to bypassers. I also noticed that many of the girls and women had a very good sense of style and wore creative combinations.
However, i was intrigued that the donations one makes from home are being sold to people with virtually no purchasung power. The only explanation i deducted that these clothes are being sold very cheap, just to cover shipping costs and customs. Plus that if a small fee is charged, the new owner is more likely to take beter care of the clothes.
As the items displayed on the pavement were actually in good condition, i even considered buying some. But i was troubled about giving lots away and then paying for it somewhere where it should be for free.
Having picked up a couple of pieces and inqiured about their price, i realized that they prices were not that low, they actually did not meet my flea market target.
And all that in a place where people commute on foot or overloaded minibuses, live in modest conditions and often don't have food at home and no stable source of income. Makes one wonder how the world works... What's the logic?

Amsterdam Food Film Festival

I heard seafood was exceptionally good in Mozambique. I grew up in a landlocked country so it took me some time to learn to appreciate food from the sea on my plate. But over time i grew fond of it.
And i went to Mozambique. Intl dial code +258. It's summer there when it's winter in Amsterdam. It rains a lot in the summer there. The official language is Portuguese and the coast is a couple of thousand kilometrs long. The sea is warm and at some places very clean. And they sell grilled chicken at the beach instead of grilled tiger prawn. I went around asking for seafood, searching it left and right, in urban and rural areas, in tents and fancy restaurants overlooking the sea, but no one had seafood. Everyone was offering chicken instead.
I was very disappointed and returned from Mozambique without eating seafood there...
A week has passed since. I had some aquaculture shrimp since then and my disappointment is fading. But it's still there.
And tonight we watched some trailers of the upcoming Food Film Festival ( March 16-18, Studio K). They all indicate that there is not much sealife left in the oceans and we should cut back on our fish & seafood consumotion. Great, i guess the Mozambiqeans are well informed and they don't sell their precious resources to unfriendly white tourists. Fine by me. However, i don't think the chicken consumption is any more sustainable than the fish & shrimp craze!
Here we come, lab meat and vegetarian food era!

Tulips in January

It's winter, but then again not really. It has not been 0 degress (Celsius) at all yet. It's January 10, 2012.
The flower in front of the house is blooming ever since we bought it in June. At the market, the prices of tulips are at their "March level". But in March it's high tulip season.
Don't get me wrong, I love flowers. And that's an understatement - I am crazy about them! But I think they also deserve some time to rest. Some time to hybernate, ignore their surroundings, recharge their energy and make a new debut in full beauty!
Hm, it will be even worse for trees, if they start blooming and will freeze afterwards. But what's even worse, are the animals! They also need their rest - in this weather they cannot fully switch off. Same goes for us humans, unless we have a couple of weeks of cold, even our spring awakening will be low on energy and enthusiasm.
I miss the option of a snowballfight, of being cold outside and having hot wine at home, watching the snow fall in the night through the window. Snowflowers are most beutiful when you see them breaking through some white, melting snow!
You can only really appreciate spring if it comes after a cold winter! Let's hope we still get our fair share of cold this year!

Webmaster tools

I am getting computer savvier by the hour. I innocently googled my name last night. And found that my entire CV is online (in considerable detail)!!! Ok, this was not a pleasant surprise, where is my privacy? And where did they get my up to date CV from?

I never heard of Yatedo before and I just found a website I already wished didn't exist. So I searched my LinkedIn and Facebook profiles and try to maximize my privacy settings. After an hour of trying to get myself off the web, I searched my name again. It was still there.
I went to work. I worked all day. Came home, vacuum cleaned. Went to jive class. Came home had dinner. And searched my name again. STILL THERE!
I changed all my Google Account settings. Still there.
I did something I never did before. I googled "how to remove myself from the web" and consulted Google's Webmaster tool to get my CV off the web (or at least make it not come up in a Google search).

I am by now somewhere in between bursting in tears, wanting to sue someone and giving up caring.
I also found some online discussion about Yatedo being illegal. Either way, this Free People Search reminds me of everything from 1984 to all dictatorial regimes.
I even emailed Yatedo's customer care to ask them to remove me from their database. Or whatever it is called.

Give me my privacy back! I cannot locate any more the place that my CV is sourced from.
I want to worry about the rain, about my friends and family, about tangible stuff, not about my virtual profile that I don't know how to delete!!!
But the good news is, that my blog's page views went up like crazy. Ok, but the visitors are based in a country that is very high on the hacking list. So should I worry now? Can I a good night sleep tonight or should I never buy anything online again?
I would like to get more respect. More space, less intrusion. Leave me alone, please, delete me from everywhere, especially from search results! Let me worry about the rain!

News of the day - inside vs. outside

2012 is already looking heavy to me. There was a big storm that hit the Netherlands today - but this is the least of bad news. There is a new Constitution in Hungary that infringes the independence of the judicial power in the country - quite seriously. And the Euro crises is very far from solved, most countries seem to be interested in either borrowing the currency or leaving the monetary union. Kind of confusing, isn't it?

Every country, every person has their "cross to carry". So far, there are still roses, good food, soft beds, warm hugs, happy music and great ideas. But "the world outside" seems to be getting tougher by the hour. Why?

I am not sure. If I know how is this happening - and why - maybe I could come up with a viable solution, at least for myself and those who might be interested. But maybe it's just the side effect of the storm today and tomorrow everything will be good again. It's like the "make everything OK" button I have seen on Facebook the other day. If you find it, don't use it.

Everything is what you make of it. - this is my wisdom of the day, it popped into my mind today while it was getting boggled and I wanted to find a way out. I love my brain's defense mechanism. I wish my brain remained at least this active forever!

Everything is what I make of it. Taking responsibility for positive thinking is difficult. Maybe I can at least not let things affect me. By the way, everything is awesome, I am sitting comfortably on the sofa, feeling warm, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice and looking a a bouquet of roses. So things are really OK. At least in here.

Access to Blogger and expectations of 2012

I cannot help myself. I need to start by saying that the virtual world is getting to me. I should be comfortable with information technology (according to my age), but today, again I am stuck in limbo. On one hand, I am being told how exposed my online presence is, how pricacy is gone, how we need to protect ourselves better.
On the other hand, it took me about 10 minutes and over 20 attempts to sign in to my blogger account. I never changed my blogger password and it used to be different from my gmail one, but now for some reason they became intelinked. It feels like trying to stick the wrong key to your post box and being convinced that you have the right key. But now I managed. And here I am.
I also wonder why the new gadgets need to be constantly updated (their sofware). My old Nokia only needed to be charged once a week and the new iPhone keeps telling almost every day that it found an update for one thing or another. Why are programs not developed to their final version before being released? I am a slightly traumatized user. I do not want updates. I want it to work for once and for all. Can app developers please do that?
And now something about the future: I got this awesome magazine called The World in 2012. It's the best read in the beginning of each year. It says that the world will not end on December 21, 2012. And should they be wrong, they will refund the price of the magazine to all readers. Gotta love their sense of humor.
The World in 2012 also writes extensively about the new parts of the technology lanscapes still unconquered  and about data flooding the planet. Fair points. What will we do with these oceans of digital data that become outdated so fast? What are exabytes anyways? Just because we're expected to have 2,720 exabytes of digital data globally in 2012.
I feel very that the invisible world (as I call information technology) will continue playng an ever increasing role in our life in 2012. I hope that my interaction with it will become even more efficient, but also simpler. Hackers, please stop bothering people, respect their privacy. And accounts, please stop asking me for all those passwords, it's just simply too much to remember.