Eszter's Blog

Tulips in January

2012-01-09T22:19:00.001+01:00

It's winter, but then again not really. It has not been 0 degress (Celsius) at all yet. It's January 10, 2012.
The flower in front of the house is blooming ever since we bought it in June. At the market, the prices of tulips are at their "March level". But in March it's high tulip season.
Don't get me wrong, I love flowers. And that's an understatement - I am crazy about them! But I think they also deserve some time to rest. Some time to hybernate, ignore their surroundings, recharge their energy and make a new debut in full beauty!
Hm, it will be even worse for trees, if they start blooming and will freeze afterwards. But what's even worse, are the animals! They also need their rest - in this weather they cannot fully switch off. Same goes for us humans, unless we have a couple of weeks of cold, even our spring awakening will be low on energy and enthusiasm.
I miss the option of a snowballfight, of being cold outside and having hot wine at home, watching the snow fall in the night through the window. Snowflowers are most beutiful when you see them breaking through some white, melting snow!
You can only really appreciate spring if it comes after a cold winter! Let's hope we still get our fair share of cold this year!

Webmaster tools

2012-01-04T21:50:00.001+01:00

I am getting computer savvier by the hour. I innocently googled my name last night. And found that my entire CV is online (in considerable detail)!!! Ok, this was not a pleasant surprise, where is my privacy? And where did they get my up to date CV from?

I never heard of Yatedo before and I just found a website I already wished didn't exist. So I searched my LinkedIn and Facebook profiles and try to maximize my privacy settings. After an hour of trying to get myself off the web, I searched my name again. It was still there.
I went to work. I worked all day. Came home, vacuum cleaned. Went to jive class. Came home had dinner. And searched my name again. STILL THERE!
I changed all my Google Account settings. Still there.
I did something I never did before. I googled "how to remove myself from the web" and consulted Google's Webmaster tool to get my CV off the web (or at least make it not come up in a Google search).

I am by now somewhere in between bursting in tears, wanting to sue someone and giving up caring.
I also found some online discussion about Yatedo being illegal. Either way, this Free People Search reminds me of everything from 1984 to all dictatorial regimes.
I even emailed Yatedo's customer care to ask them to remove me from their database. Or whatever it is called.

Give me my privacy back! I cannot locate any more the place that my CV is sourced from.
I want to worry about the rain, about my friends and family, about tangible stuff, not about my virtual profile that I don't know how to delete!!!
But the good news is, that my blog's page views went up like crazy. Ok, but the visitors are based in a country that is very high on the hacking list. So should I worry now? Can I a good night sleep tonight or should I never buy anything online again?
I would like to get more respect. More space, less intrusion. Leave me alone, please, delete me from everywhere, especially from search results! Let me worry about the rain!

News of the day - inside vs. outside

2012-01-03T21:15:00.001+01:00

2012 is already looking heavy to me. There was a big storm that hit the Netherlands today - but this is the least of bad news. There is a new Constitution in Hungary that infringes the independence of the judicial power in the country - quite seriously. And the Euro crises is very far from solved, most countries seem to be interested in either borrowing the currency or leaving the monetary union. Kind of confusing, isn't it?

Every country, every person has their "cross to carry". So far, there are still roses, good food, soft beds, warm hugs, happy music and great ideas. But "the world outside" seems to be getting tougher by the hour. Why?

I am not sure. If I know how is this happening - and why - maybe I could come up with a viable solution, at least for myself and those who might be interested. But maybe it's just the side effect of the storm today and tomorrow everything will be good again. It's like the "make everything OK" button I have seen on Facebook the other day. If you find it, don't use it.

Everything is what you make of it. - this is my wisdom of the day, it popped into my mind today while it was getting boggled and I wanted to find a way out. I love my brain's defense mechanism. I wish my brain remained at least this active forever!

Everything is what I make of it. Taking responsibility for positive thinking is difficult. Maybe I can at least not let things affect me. By the way, everything is awesome, I am sitting comfortably on the sofa, feeling warm, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice and looking a a bouquet of roses. So things are really OK. At least in here.

Access to Blogger and expectations of 2012

2012-01-02T12:38:00.001+01:00

I cannot help myself. I need to start by saying that the virtual world is getting to me. I should be comfortable with information technology (according to my age), but today, again I am stuck in limbo. On one hand, I am being told how exposed my online presence is, how pricacy is gone, how we need to protect ourselves better.
On the other hand, it took me about 10 minutes and over 20 attempts to sign in to my blogger account. I never changed my blogger password and it used to be different from my gmail one, but now for some reason they became intelinked. It feels like trying to stick the wrong key to your post box and being convinced that you have the right key. But now I managed. And here I am.
I also wonder why the new gadgets need to be constantly updated (their sofware). My old Nokia only needed to be charged once a week and the new iPhone keeps telling almost every day that it found an update for one thing or another. Why are programs not developed to their final version before being released? I am a slightly traumatized user. I do not want updates. I want it to work for once and for all. Can app developers please do that?
And now something about the future: I got this awesome magazine called The World in 2012. It's the best read in the beginning of each year. It says that the world will not end on December 21, 2012. And should they be wrong, they will refund the price of the magazine to all readers. Gotta love their sense of humor.
The World in 2012 also writes extensively about the new parts of the technology lanscapes still unconquered and about data flooding the planet. Fair points. What will we do with these oceans of digital data that become outdated so fast? What are exabytes anyways? Just because we're expected to have 2,720 exabytes of digital data globally in 2012.
I feel very that the invisible world (as I call information technology) will continue playng an ever increasing role in our life in 2012. I hope that my interaction with it will become even more efficient, but also simpler. Hackers, please stop bothering people, respect their privacy. And accounts, please stop asking me for all those passwords, it's just simply too much to remember.

Biutiful

2011-10-30T23:29:00.000+01:00

A heavy movie... a biutiful one! I cannot tell you the plot, otherwise you won't enjoy it. All I can say about it that it messed with my head and I have been feeling down/weird the whole weekend!

Bottom line is, there are many good movies out there, but I think I need to discover more of those that make me laugh.

If you know of a good movie that made you laugh before making my cry, let me know :-)

I hear Catfish should be interesting, too. And I find the WhatMovieShouldIWatchTonight.com one of the best inventions ever.

Hope you'll like it, too!

Rainbow warrior III

2011-10-30T23:27:00.000+01:00

The Rainbow Warrior 3 is ready! It´s in Amsterdam all week and you can go to see it! The thing is, if you have not made a reservation yet, you might not make it on board, but it´s still worth a visit. Or follow it online: http://anewwarrior.greenpeace.org/They will be heading soon to Brazil to start a big campaign against deforestation in the Amazon rainforest and go to Rio for the Rio+20 Summit.While it´s docking at the Java Eiland, there is an ongoing festival with great music, biological food, Xmas present ideas and movie projection. Given that the temperature is still steady over 10 degrees, it´s a unmissable fall experience!!!Enjoy!

Reading material - sci fi

2011-09-26T13:23:00.001+02:00

It's my birthday, don't tell anyone :-)Reading material - I got my hands of some very good stuff!!! Science fiction, from the 1930, at the level of Orwell's 1984. Very cool, really,I love when someone has the vision of the perfect society and rubs it under your nose to show you how fundamentally wrong the concept is!So, I am reading Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Excellent read. Highly recommended, in case you have not read it yet!Also, as a follow up: I just hear about the The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Still need to get it, but I think I am on to some pretty impressive stuff here. If you know of similar stuff, stop being so mean and share it! Looking for some out of the box science fiction!Thanks a lot in advance.

Google doc

2011-09-14T23:16:00.001+02:00

By this i don't mean google documents, but the doctor, my GP. So my skin goes dry under my eyes and i want to figure out what's wrong. Most fora talk about tge various brands of facial cream I should use to make my skin look young and beautiful again. The forum participants are so particular about the brands of the creams they recommend that I doubt the opinion's innocence. How awesome can cosmetics companies be to pay people to follow these online conversations to promote their own products.
But this is probably true for all industries, not just cosmetics, dropping an innocent good word here and there when people are looking for quick fixes to their problems. How naive was it from me in the first place to hope to find a reliable answer online.
So I go on thinking about reliability, transparency, professionalism and the rest.
And the red dry skin under my eyes stays there, when I'll look in the mirror tomorrow morning, I will ask myself why I turned even this into a philosophical question and set out on the path answering the big questions of life...
Anyways, I also learnt online on one of these fora about the benefits of cranberries - which has been confirmed by professional doctors to me as well. There is hope, not all online search for answers is a dead end!

Triodos ad

2011-09-13T14:15:00.000+02:00

The new Triodos ad - a good one, expecially for a bank. For a bank that is growing really fast!I am a client. Maybe that makes me like the ad even more!http://youtu.be/3Wmdzx8_Oi8 (Sorry, I am trying this new version of blogger and ...I could not embed the video...)Enjoy - and let me know what your favourite bank ad is!

3 months on - on writing and inspiration

2011-09-13T14:08:00.000+02:00

Hi. Welcome back, I say to myself.
A lot has happened in the meanwhile. I decided to delete my blog. I am all for streamlining information, and since my blog does not provide much added value, much news, it should not be around just to dilute other people's messages.
But still, I decide to keep it. I received some encouragement from some friends to keep going. So, here it is.
This time, somewhere between wondering why there was no summer in Amsterdam, wondering how friendships are built, strengthened and then eventually let go off, but mainly, wondering why I changed my mind and decided to write this blog post.
I do not know any of the answers ot the above, and I also do not have an opionion about it, I am merely observing the state things are in.
I am sitting on the sofa and looking at the streetlamp dancing in the wind. I should water the plants, the basil in the window looks sad. Hm, I love plants. They are quiet. But they actually say a great deal, if you observe them. Well, I am not always sure what they are trying to say, but I flatter myself by thinking that they are happy around me. And that makes me happier. (A rather simplistic philosphy, I am aware of it.)
So, I was looking out of the window. I had this thought.
Ok, I am reading the Shadow of the Wind, an OK read. In the book is a writer, he sits in his attic in the armchair, typewriter turned towards the window, window overlooking a Notre Dame, or other touristic thing in Paris. It's ...1933. The writer is broke and sad. What else.
In my view, the window should overlook a park, not the Notre Dame, for inspiration, but that's a detail. Since I am in the mood of flattering myself, I say: I want to have such and old armchair in the attic, window to the park, inspiration for writing. I would write on a type writer... no, it's too tiring for the fingers to keep punching those old buttons. On an electric typewriter .... no, the noise of it kills all inspiration. By hand ....that takes way too long. On a laptop...whay bother being broke in the attic in Paris if I write the novel on a laptop? Ok, none works. Hm, but if technology would allow for a "thought transcriber", to be used in inspired moments only, by taking this magic item in your hand and simply thinking what you would write...that could work!
But then, everyone would become a writer, just like now so many people are amazing bloogers, photographgers, networkers...it would become simply too easy. And that wuld most definitely kill off the romance! And here's the practical morale I got out of my thought process: while watching tv in the background last night, I saw this kids book (by Hallmark) that has a voice recorder. It's for busy mums. You read the book once out loud, record your voice and give the book to your kid. After this, the kid can listen to the story, told by you, without you being there. How awesome is that! And how lonely for the kid!?

Over a month

2011-06-26T20:49:00.001+02:00

I can't believe it's been over a month!
Sooo much happening all the te - loads of work and fun times! Not enough time to catch up with people...
It's the first time I'm writing the blog post on my white iPhone 4! The most convenient thing ever invented! Reading news, taking photos, emailing, listening to music, calling and updating my blog from the same device- that fits into my pocket- is just amazing!
So, happy life!
Anyways, just wanted to say that today, just like any other last Sunday of the month, there was Pure Markt at the Frankedael park in East Amsterdam. Definitely worth a bikeride, to taste some fresh wholesome food - and Hingarian prosecco!!!
Also, as it was the last Sunday of June, the Roots Festival was held in Oosterpark, free of charge! The weather - despite yesterday's stubborn rain - was also perfect!
Wish all summer was like this weekend!
Have a great start of the new week, leave the frustrainion of his week behind, take it as a learning opportunity!
Big sunny hugz!

The problem of helpfulness

2011-05-23T18:23:00.003+02:00

It's true, I've been told before...it's important to be helpful, but...you also have to be smart to make it in this world. And witty. And clever.

Otherwise you really end up having to cover everyone else's jobs, but you yourself will not get far. Which is fine if you never aimed to get far. He :-)

Anyways, if you know how get things done, it's empowering. And when you see others doing it as well, you realize why it is not always handy. People will build on you and rely on you, but the reflex of reward does not necessarily kick in...and at one point, one starts feeling burnt out and demotivated. Or, one becomes a true change agent. Depends on the circumstances - if there is an internal "patron"of your work who helps you get further, or if there are road blocks anywhere you look.

And being helpful will keep reinforcing your role as support staff rather than helping you make a jump forward. Fingers crossed, though. These circumstances work out for everyone differently.

Strongest women

2011-05-08T09:30:00.002+02:00

I looked up on google what the strongest women in google terms mean. Apparently, it refers to the ladies with big muscles. That´s nice, I guess, even though I think slender ladies look more elegant in general.
Then I searched for "strongest women leadership" - I found Margaret Thatcher, Queen Elizabeth II, Dilma Roussef and other stateswomen. Impressive, but this is still not what I was looking for. Also, women leaders in business are great and I would like to see more of them, but they were also not the focus of my thought process.
I was looking for stories of ladies who have acted out of conviction, with clear conscience and their life circumstances still turned against them. In the last 48 hours I came across at least three of them. Here they are - rather than repeating their stories, I will refer you to the corresponding wikipedia site to give a less emotional description of their stories:
Angela Cropper - Assistant Secretary General to the UN Environment Program
Lara Logan - Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondent, CBS News
Valerie Plame - former CIA US Operations Officer.
They represent tremendous strength, power of will, vitality, determination - and elegance. They recover from the blows life gave them. And of course, like everyone else, they have critics. People challenge their integrity. Which is also useful, to keep perspective.
These are just small examples. There are so many women leaders out there - people working for their community, for their beliefs. Reading their stories inspires me to try harder.
I am sure you have examples in your surroundings that you would like to share. Feel free to do so - by any means you can find! We should learn more about these ladies trying to keep it all together and not losing sight of their principles, their North Star.

My garden

2011-04-28T22:36:00.002+02:00

I grew up as an involuntary gardener...helping out at home. But I knew the seasons of fruits and vegetables, the time to plant them, the frequency of watering, the time to harvest them and ways to preserve them for the winter.
Pepper in April was an unthinkable concept to me. Never tried any fruit (except for bananas and oranges) that would not grow on "the family farm". I remember the time I was wondering about how people each kiwis. Or the first time I tasted a fresh mango. Oh, and when I had to cut the pineapple open...I was so confused!
Anyways, here I come, living far away from home, having my own home. With no garden. Only a small 30cm times 2m little area in front of the building that my neighbor was not so keen to take care of.
So I decided to put my gardening skills to work here. Last year all the neighborhood dogs were convinced that all I was trying to do was to decorate their restroom with flowers. I thought otherwise and wanted revenge ... how can some pet owners be so irresponsible and let their dogs poop between two bushes of tiny fragile roses?
This year the dogs don´t care any more. But despite being spring, there is no rain and the plants look rather sad. I am planting a couple of small flowers every two weeks or so. It is slowly growing, blooming. But it still looks bare...
So if you come by and plant a small rose, I won´t mind. If not, I´ll keep adding to it. And picking up the cigarette butts and plastic wrapping papers.
Beekeeping on the roofs on New York sounds amazing. But I cannot imagine how difficult it is if I struggle so much with a tiny patch of sandy soil in Amsterdam!

Atlas Shrugged - but just a for a week

2011-03-31T23:13:00.003+02:00

This, my friends - for a change - I do not mean in a Randian way. I simply wanted to say that going to Australia for less than a week messes your biorhythm up, and makes you think the world is small.
Especially if you happen to know enough people who you have met in your past that you go out with every night and feel like a local. Bondi Beach, North Sydney, CBD, even the Opera (Circular Quay) were all really remote concepts. But thanks to the amazing experience friends offered, it now feels like it's my university city, Prague.
Great times!

Now, to come back to the parallel meaning of what I was trying to say - Atlas Shrugged - the movie is out soon: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480239/
And to add yet another twist to it - I would like to talk to the person who came to the conclusion that what Ayn Rand was actually advocating was crude free market capitalism. I have some doubts about that....she was talking about taking responsibility for one's life, about human greatness. It seems to me that her words were interpreted rather loosely to get this far. Greed was never a sign of greatness for her. Intelligent selfishness was.
Let me know if you think otherwise, I feel like I have a case to defend here.
So long!

Looking for weekend inspirations

2011-03-04T07:51:00.002+01:00

It´s Friday morning. Spring is approaching and it´s not dark any more when I need to get up. Watching the news...not happy with Lybia...but I am still sitting on my couch.
Wathing MTV... it´s the 5 days off Festival in town this weekend. Great line up.
Checking website, thinking about what needs to be done before the weekend kicks in. Thinking about the weekend, gnocchi for dinner and Belgian beer. What a life. But where is inspiration? For lack of a better idea, I refer to the below video. It is great, but like any other approach, it´s not perfect. As Mr. Pauli himself says: Don´t let perfect stand in the way of great.
So here it comes, hope you´ll like it!

Blue Economy

Let´s go somewhere else tonight

2011-02-24T08:07:00.004+01:00

Having lived for almost 4 years in Amsterdam, one catches himself of building a routine - also for socializing. So we thought, let´s go somewhere else tonight, just the two of us.
We ended up in the flashiest pub in the East, with golden aluminum foil stuck to the ceiling from where small plastic Christmas trees we hanging upside down, the walls full of photos of smiley World Cup supporters, popular Dutch singers and the like. There we small carpets on the tables and pots of flowers. The beer was reasonable.
In the beginning, we were the outsiders, but then a gentleman sat down with another couple at our table and we started chatting. Initially, he tested out Dutch and stated that this was a homophilian (how do you say that) pub. And that he worked in the building industry. This got me all interested:
- Have you read the Fountainhead?
- No, what is it?
- A great book, about architects. About the ones that build what the public wants and those who are committed to build only what they believe in.
- I build what the public wants.
- What did you build?
- A shop in Colombia.
Ok, I thought this was not leading too far. I took a coaster and wrote down: Ayn Rand: The Fountainhead. The gentleman looked at me, smiled and put it in his pocket. Then he drank his beer bottoms up.
So we went back to awkwardly staring at each other...
After a while, it turned out that he lived 4 years in France. In a prison - he came from Colombia by boat...with some uniquely Colombian gifts on it. After another round of beers we left. I was thinking, how dangerous, we move out of our routine and run into convicts and drug traffickers.
Or...was it true at all? Maybe I was just disappointed by the initial start of the conversation and gave too much importance to my imagination....
Anyways, bottom line is, I think we should do something different every Friday. Or every day, almost, for that matter.

Good books

2011-02-13T16:54:00.002+01:00

There are superficial books, easy to read, entertaining. There are heavy books that make you feel good about yourself for reading them. There are all kind of different books for various target audiences and there are masterpieces.
The Fountainhead is one of them. I have not heard of Ayn Rand before. An amazing intellectual woman of the 20th century, having been born in Russia and developing her own philosophical system (obejctivism). The book is not only really exciting, but it boosts a readers´self confidence and challenges the boxed in thinking. It´s a real revelation.
The book was initially so successful, that a movie was made based on it...in 1949. Well, feel free to watch the movie, but as always, the book will offer a much richer experience!
It´s like a shrink ... and I hope it has long lasting effects!

Incredible India

2011-01-26T17:45:00.004+01:00

What a luxury go on to India when it´s minus 5 degrees in Amsterdam! What a luxury to go to the wedding of two good friends in India! Too much luxury to start with!The parties, the ceremonies, the henna tattoos, dancing in from of the horse with the groom! Getting a suntan throughout the day and celebrating at night!
Meeting up with old friends!
Amazing....go, if you ever get the chance! And don´t worry too much about planning!
It´s unforgettable, the colors, the smells, the tastes (I opted out of this), the sounds (get ready)!
India is a country you cannot describe in words. You just have to experience it!
Oh, a new slogan: Experience India!
I am recovering from the experience - more precisely from the air conditioning of the plane. They never let you down... That´s the price one has to pay for a unique getaway in the middle of the winter...
Experience Incredible India!

The Driver of Human progress

2010-12-19T17:59:00.002+01:00

What drives human progress? I would like to think that it is free, empowered thinking, forward looking, creative innovation.
However, if you look at the underlying motivations of progress, it is fear. Fear of God or fear of not making enough money. Whatever your convictions are in a Western society, these really are the main drivers of progress. The only problem with it is, that it does not put people in a powerful position where they think openly and freely, but it rather puts people inside predefined boxes.
I am happy to understand that 1) not everyone in the Western societies thinks like this and there are great creative initiatives and truly happy people who think way out the box. 2) human progress is not driven only by the Western societies and elsewhere happy, liberated thinkers and doers come up every day with new, better, more sustainable ways of doing things.
I guess this answers why most of us do not like to be considered mainstream westerners, it is actually more of a vision of fear and slavery than a happy thought.
I guess that is why I like reading Earth, the book, it mocks our rather narrow scope of thinking. A good read, but I do not think it gives too many answers to the big questions. It merely pushes the reader to let go, smile and try to do things differently next time.

Music

2010-12-06T22:20:00.002+01:00

When I was younger, I used to listen to Ricky Martin. I don´t listen to him any more. I listen to random music all the time - music other people listen to and I overhear. I am not even sure what band is in...but I go to more concerts than even before and hear lots of music. I just don´t consciously listen to it.
But I appreciate music more then ever before. While I am at concert, wondering about the decibels and the damage to my ears, I observe people. People dance, jump, sing along, move their limbs in a random way, whistle, scream, clap, do all kind of things. Music does not let them just stand there and observe. People participate. People with different musical preferences react to different kinds of music. But everyone knows of some music that will cheer them up of bring them down.
This is why music, among the other forms of art is still the most outstanding. Because it´s alive, not static. If one reads a poem, looks at a painting or sculpture, one is likely to have an opinion. Yet it´s not too common to dance around paintings ... (possible, though, I know).
Music triggers us.
Different music for different people.
For example, the Blower´s daughter...brings me down, but makes me feel soo alive. I guess another song does the same to you.

The solution to global problems :-)

2010-12-05T16:13:00.003+01:00

I like bold titles :-) But just before you read on, I must warn you, you may disagree with the thoughts shared here...if you read on, I´ll be happy.
So: There are so many issues in the world - from AIDS through hunger, flood victims, to victims of wars. All developed countries (and less developed ones, too) are trying to support all kinds of charitable initiatives to tackle these problems.
By sharing responsibility, it´s no one country´s ultimate responsibility to fix anything, though. So here´s what I propose: each country should "adopt" a global problem: e.g. the Netherlands will come up with solutions to alternative energy from water (hydro, tidal, wave). They would be accountable for always developing new technologies and governments and businesses worldwide would all come to the Dutch for solutions.
I understand we´d have to work out (1) how problems would be allocated to countries, (2) how can we ensure the quality of the solution if there is no market economy involved, (3) how can we make sure solutions are offered to businesses as well even though they do not always participate in the development.
Yes, I know, the theory is not fully developed yet. But imagine, the UN would get together and list all global problems and prioritize them. Then they would estimate the cost of solving it. And countries depending on their wealth would become responsible for 1 problem each. And in case they fix it (e.g. there is no more hunger in the world), they receive a new task, the next one on the priority list.
I also understand that this approach seems to simplify the complexity of issues (e.g. such as hunger - it´s a consequence of many factors). I also accept the criticism for calling this approach very "command and control"-like, even going against the fundamentals of the currently dominant free market economic system.
Yet, I still see a point in clarity (it´s clear who does what) and accountability (countries can hold each other responsible for meeting or not meeting the timeline of projects).
Oh, and maybe someone else already came up with this theory and it was already tried and went wrong. In that case, this is just a reminder of how ideas in different people´s minds reoccur.
The underlying assumption to this approach is that (1) we all care, (2) countries are willing to become part of this regardless of the changes in the government.
So, any questions? Where do we get started?
Let me know!

Green Porn

2010-11-28T18:14:00.002+01:00

So many people refer to examples from the animal kingdom as a symbol of hard working, domination, community organizing, etc.
For example, Mama Grizzlies have enjoyed quite some attention recently. But apparently, the animal kingdom can also answer a tougher question - and offer examples of sexual behaviour.
Isabella Rossellini does an excellent job in translating animal sexual behaviour and explaining it in an arty way!
This is not porn, this is education!
And I have the feeling that you laugh and learn a lot!
Enjoy!

Support bands

2010-11-21T16:42:00.002+01:00

I remember when I saw Jamie Lidell assupporting artist of Bjork. I think I like his music now more than Bjork´s. And I remember seeing a great gig of the Eagles of Death metal in Prague and it was amazing and when they performed as the support band for Arctic Monkeys, I was not so convinced...
In general, support bands are great, but no matter how hard they try, they can never get the crowd crazy. I just saw Sky Larkin as support band to Les Savy Fav. Actually both bands were great, but I slightly preferred the support band. And they gave away free badges. I liked them, but in the end we bought merchandise from the Les Savy Fav. And I was left with a feeling of guilt, for having the choice and deciding to contribute to the already well off band rather than supporting what I actually liked more...
I was punished by karma for my act because my ear has been ringing since the concert (48 hours now). Why do concerts have to be bad for your health? Anyways, Sky Larkin will be back in December to support another concert. maybe I will go back and not give an awkward smile to the drummer selling their merchandise, but reach in my wallet....
Long live support bands!

When tequila knocks on the door

2010-11-15T22:15:00.002+01:00

Familiar? Think twice next time :-)

New World Order

2010-11-13T21:53:00.002+01:00

Well, the picture is about consumption, the one I should really use here is the one that depicts the correlation between economic development and resistance to corruption.
So, last night in a a conversation the question came up if it is economic development or resistance to corruption that needs to happen first. I thought it would be economic development. Once a person has overcome basic economic hardship, he/she is more likely to become more transparent. Now I am not sure if this approach can be also used to assess country level development.

Others in the conversation were of the opinion that first one has to become less prone to corruption and then economic development will follow (except in geographic areas where crops were easy to grow, such as in Italy, but where the development over time slowed down and transparency seems to be lacking at times). Hm, but how can one become less corrupt? What are the drivers of this change of attitude?

One driver we could agree on was the protestant religion (an excellent example for Northern Europe) where work and honesty are the highest values. So once Northern Europeans became more hard transparent, economic development followed.

Ok, but what about wealth driven by natural resources (OPEC countries)? They are economically well off, but generally not perceived as transparent. In this case, is economic development a pure consequence of oil richness and chaos will return once the wells dry up? Or can welfare also lead to more transparency and resistance to corruption over time?

And also, what about Northern Europeans becoming less religious? Will they lose the virtue of transparency? Or has the value now entered their consciousness beyond religion? By living in the online era, are we going to transform our values? As we are becoming more open, flexible, and interconnected, how is our proneness to corruption going to be affected?

How will the new world order of transparency and economic development be?

Cocorosie and others

2010-11-05T20:22:00.002+01:00

So it all stats with either having time to write blog posts but not having much to share or doing cool stuff and never getting around to share it. It´s Friday night and the party I was going to go to turned out to be tomorrow which got me some unexpected free time. So I am trying to catch up and share a CocoRosie experience.

CocoRosie is a freak folk, hip hop, experimental duo of two sisters born in the US of A and living in Paris. The show was a perfect kitsch performance. Perfect to the last detail. The way they sound is difficult to describe - there seems to be some oriental influence, a pinch of native American sound, lots of opera and shrieks and a whole palette of some kind of instruments - from a jukebox to a harp. Now this, combined with the merry go round and pink baby with vampire teeth VJ work blends so well, I just felt like in a fairy tale land.

CocoRosie is worth a wikipedia check!
And the week did not end its share of memorable moments there....we had a living room concert last night. The singer songwriter should be performing on huge stages! She won even over CocoRosie - at least for her interaction with the audience! Seriously, the amount of talented people...I underestimated it again.

I just wish I found my talent one of these days...until then I just keep baking and promoting sustainability. I guess that´s a safe start in my case!

Seu Jorge

2010-10-24T18:12:00.002+02:00

The Amsterdam Dance Event is on. Unlike in previous years, I made an explicit effort to participate. And it worked out, even though most parties were sold out and the weather suggested you´d better stay home if you don´t want to get completely soaked.

We went to the concert of Seu Jorge, a Brazilian musician (across several styles). The concert was great, most Brazilians in Amsterdam were there too. Having just recently been to Brazil, it was a moment of reconnection (since in Sao Paulo I did not have time to do anything cultural).
But there was another point of connection. A colleague of mine just moved recently to Brazil. The day she arrived, her husband to her to a Seu Jorge concert in Sao Paulo. So, even though I have not seen her for almost 2 months, the fact that she sang along and danced to the performance of the same artist who was now in Amsterdam created a special connected feeling.

Which was nice.
After Seu Jorge left the stage, we waited for 3.5 hrs for Jeff Mills, the legendary techno DJ from Detroit to come on stage. Many people seemed ho have enjoyed his performance even more. But at 2:30am, all I could think of was work the day after and the lack of sleep I will have. So I left. Seu Jorge created a connection he was not aware of. And that was my little secret that made me smile....

Zim

2010-10-24T17:50:00.000+02:00

I never thought I´d go to Zimbabwe. I have never been to Africa, so starting with Zimbabwe looked like a very unlikely way to go. Until it actually happened.

Zimbabwe is a beautiful country, people are beautiful, even though most of them live in extreme hardship. The countryside is amazing, even though in October it´s rather dry and turns brown. Yet the blue lizards and the birds, the zebras, even the cattle, it all feels to beautiful, so real and down to Earth. I feel privileged for having been there, seen it and experienced it first hand.
Now, the amount of spiders - even though they are harmless - was not all that pretty, but I have made significant progress in learning how to live with them.

The most beautiful part of the experience were the stories people were telling. Stories of resilience, of hope, of innovation, of never giving up and always finding alternative solutions and new ways of dealing with reality.

I found it somehow incredible to see kids walking for miles and miles to school and sitting down in the shadow of a tree in the afternoon to read their books. My reality has been redefined in a couple of days - seeing ladies carrying baskets on their heads, babies tied to their backs, vans so full that people were hanging from the door, roads full of people walking on them with almost no cars in sight.

Hearing the local stories of why development aid does not work and what kind of investment would be needed to help the country recover was yet another reality adjustment for me.
The willingness of businessmen to develop in a sustainable way, to build communities and protect biodiversity was so humbling. If people in hardship do get the message, why don´t we?
Even though I was in Zimbabwe for less than a week, it taught me a lot about life in the developed world.

Just recently, a famous Dutch actor committed suicide. He was loved, rich, young, famous, and healthy. But he had nothing left to fight for. He had it all.

This will not be true for the people in Zimbabwe where unemployment is 90% and the 10% that works helps throughout families and villages so that everyone can survive. I do not know where they see the end of the fight against poverty. But what I saw was that rather than trying to define a timeline, they go on, day by day, adding value to their lives. Not just monetary one. Maybe they do not even thinks it´s a fight. It´s just their reality.

Under the sun, the hot red sun, the song of the birds and the grass life goes on, slowly, calmly, with a lot of will and determination. We should all go to Zimbabwe to learn something about ourselves... and it would help the country a great deal, too.

Mamy Rock

2010-10-04T16:27:00.002+02:00

http://www.mamyrock.com/

Literally - a grandma that rocks! And who said bridging generational divides was difficult!

And not a bad DJ at all, mind you!

Fascinating, energizing and undisputably unconventional!

She's so far not scheduled to have a gig in Amsterdam, though....but look out, she the hot news of the rainy fall!

A wish come true

2010-09-05T18:39:00.002+02:00

I had a great afternoon with a friend, sitting on a bench, enjoying one of the last sunny afternoons of the year (unfortunately). We were talking about things we´d like to achieve, how we´d like certain things to work out, what would make us even happier than we already are.
I remember hearing people say "Be careful with what you wish for". I never quite understood it, but coming to a closing of our third decade in this world, we started discussing this with my friend. And seem to have finally got the message of the statement.
When our wishes come true (when you get your dream job, when you receive a reward, when people give you the attention you want, etc.) it turns out that even this dream situation has its downsides and you are not as happy as you thought you´d be once you wish came true. When you get there, you see that no situation is perfect. And that you can always wish for more, for better (human greed?).
This seems to be a lesson that everyone has to learn for themselves, everyone needs to achieve and see how it´s really not like what we thought it would be. It is a life long process of wishing, achieving and getting disappointed. It is also helpful on the personal journey of learning how to appreciate what we have. Of making the most of the current situation instead of constantly planning a more glamorous future.
At the same time, I personally find it important to avoid getting comfortable with a mediocre situation and to stop working on my personal development, sharper yet more harmonious self-definition. It´s an exciting process to learn to appreciate the presence and working towards improving it from within.
Wishes are good, but we need to learn that nothing is ever perfect, only I can work on myself to appreciate what is given.

LUSH

2010-08-29T16:45:00.002+02:00

It all starts with presents. I would buy Lush, Rituals and other delicious cosmetics for friends, but not for myself. Also, if I got something from these brands, I would pass it on.
Until recently. I realized that it´s meant also for me and I can spoil myself to the extent of using it. So, if I get some delicious soaps and lotions, I use them and love the feeling of it - the smell, the touch, it´s all a whole new dimension.
It´s also nice that we got lots for scented wedding gifts! And just recently, a pleasant surprise - I was looking for a book I lent to someone and could not remember, who to! And one Sunday afternoon, planting a small flower in our 30cm * 2m front yard, the neighbor brought the book back and a box full of Lush delicacies (apparently, someone dropped it off with him as we were not at home). I am very happy to be reunited with Vegetal Cities, but still do not know who had it, since there was no note with the book. Whoever you are, thank you for getting the book back and for a box full of scented goodies! I am very happy with all of it. I just feel bad about not remembering who I need to thank...
Long live natural soaps and lotions! And friends who bring your books back (by the way, I hope it was inspiring to read the book)!

Assessing it

2010-08-08T14:47:00.004+02:00

I am trying to think of all the documentaries we have seen in the past two years about the food we eat (The Future of Food, Our Daily Bread, Food Inc, Supersize Me, and many others), about fishing (The End of the Line) about overall (un-) sustainability issues (The Yes Man, Carrot Mob, Zeitgeist, Home, The Age of Stupid, etc), climate change (the Inconvenient Truth), migratory pressures, financial crises - the list could go on for much longer....There is so much info out there!
These films also propose some really gloomy scenarios. We are all eating mass produced food (whereas distribution inequalities have reached epic proportions), we have overfished the seas, used chemical pesticides and grew non-indigenous crops, grew businesses to a size where even with the very best intentions one does not have an overview of the full supply chain and it´s impact on the environment and communities, a huge part of the ice sheet in Greenland just broke off a day ago (its size is 100 square miles and over 520 feet of thickness) and it is just floating ...there goes our fresh water supply. And there it goes in the Himalayas where it also causes floods in Bangladesh and forces people to flee.
So, it looks really gloomy. Actually, worse than that.
Nevertheless, remember when the volcano is Iceland broke out in April this year for the first time? It was massive chaos. And remember the second time? Everyone was so much more ready to deal with it. We seem to adapt to new realities so well.
So here´s my proposition (and please, feel free to challenge it): Despite the fact that we do not know how the global ecosystems will function after Greenland will be all green, after all red-listed species will disappear, after we have used up all the oil and our western societies will grow very old, but I believe that human life on Earth will continue. We´ll just eat jelly fish and roaches, we´ll lower our consumption standards out of necessity, but we´ll still be around.
I wonder if the massive global distribution inequality will be reduced....but nonetheless, we´ll be here, possibly fighting over something we perceive as scarce, whereas it´s abundant.
I wish governments and captains of industry created a bigger wave of change and brought about a systemic change in the way we live. To start thinking in a long term, holistic way is (in my opinion) the solution. Yet, this needs to happen not on moral grounds, but based on the business case we create with sustainability. This would be the best case scenario. I see so many initiatives, so many enlightened well connected people who are working for this change, but I do not see the critical mass forming fast enough.
This is the reason for my proposition: even if we do not change our ways of doing business and consuming fast enough, we´ll eventually learn to adapt - learn to take care of ourselves, possibly even grow our urban food, live in less comfortable conditions, do whatever it takes. And start all over again. There were plagues in the middle ages. There were wars, economic crises...there were even times when our ancestors didn´t quite control fire. And look how far we got.
This is not to say that we should stop trying to fix what we are destroying - it is just to say that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, that I believe we´ll make it. It may not be the brightest sunlight at the end of the tunnel, but it´s not all that dark either.
How do you see this (not) happening? What will be left of us?

Sunflowers

2010-08-02T17:18:00.003+02:00

I was looking for inspiration on a cloudy August morning. August mornings are generally sunny, in most parts of the world. Not so often in Amsterdam.
Last Saturday some friends came over to eat delicious lamb stew and cataplana (I guess the Algarve version of paella), have some delicious drinks and finsh with my home made cakes. (I have fallen in love with maknig cakes - it's a very relaxing process. And I rarely follow a recipe - which gives me as much space for creativity as I am willing to create for myself.)
Anyways, apart from the great (often unfinished) conversations and the many extra bottles of wine we now have at home, I got some flowers (Ik ben gek op bloemen!!!). Among the flowers were also sunflowers.
Since I have also bought a bouquet of sunflowers on Saturday morning at the market, our tiny apartment was getting very full of sunflowers. So I brought some to work today.
It it worked magic - the contrast with the grey sky was way too big. The yellow of the sunflowers is so full of life, warmth and optimism! It even turned the grey sky somewhat sunnier!
Long live the power of flowers!

Empathic Civilization

2010-07-23T14:25:00.002+02:00

I would like to recommend a pretty awesome (and calming) animated video on the Empathic Civilization. Delivered by Jeremy Rifkin at the Royal Society of Arts, drawn by I am not sure who, but really well.
I am one of the lucky dudettes who saw Jeremy Rifkin live negotiating with the President of the European Commission about a carbon free economy. But Mr. Rifkin was on the side of hydrogen and the European public opinion was not. So, no deal.
Nevertheless, good and constructive thinking!
It's Friday afternoon and the only empathy I feel right now is towards a bed I would like to curl up in - or maybe a drink on a sunny terrace before..hmmm...very tempting.
Anyways, if you have 10 minutes and would like to learn about a new evolutinoary theory, click on the one above.
Cheers!

Unexpected

2010-07-01T21:47:00.002+02:00

So we were at the Snoop Dogg concert on Monday night at Rabozaal in Melkweg. I was sitting there, listening to music I would sometimes find vulgar, and then it all clicked.
There was something clean and sharp about his performance. There was a connection with the audience, sympathy and yet the cool attitude with the diamond glove / microphone. There was cursing, plenty of weed, and yet something extremely coherent, very professional, neat and smart.
And then I thought: I will write in my blog about people who inspire me. Not only people who derictly work to change the world, but anyone in whom I can spot that special something. For me, in Snoop Dogg it was his sharpness, his alignment with his message yet an elegant way.
I have to admit, I was impressed....I didn´t quite drop it like it was hot, but I saw a great professional on stage. Who entertained for 90 minutes sharp, with his two bodyguards like wardrobes on the sides of the stage. With the diamond glove mic. It really worked for me!
It´s amazing how you find inspiration sometimes in places that you don´t expect.
And that´s it.
Someone stole the front wheel of my bike today. I may just track the person down and see if I find something inspiring in him...

Expectations

2010-06-20T20:52:00.002+02:00

Or maybe assumptions....I see parallels between the FIFA cup and all other aspects of life. So far, none of the matches have ended the way I would have predicted them before the world cup started. I am now wondering if I should adjust my expectations going forward or my favorite teams smarten up and do not kick the ball to hard if they know it will fly to far....
Anyways, I see myself betting on other people´s success, and lack of it. But it does not always work out according to my expectations. And then it´s me: I bet on my successes and failures and sometimes it just happens differently. If I am sure of something, it can still work out differently then I thought. And that is when I feel very happy or extremely down. Thus it seems that breaking down expectations would help avoid feeling down if something doesn´t work out.
This sounds good, but that means also watching the final f the world cup without any emotion - to avoid disappointment.
And that thought is not too appealing to me. Life is supposed to feel like something after all, right?
Even though expectations and assumptions are generally not very helpful, we cannot live without them - they drive us, give us hope, give us worries, whatever to make us feel alive - to give us downs - and amazing, intoxicating UPS :-) (Not the United Parcel Service)

Global crises made fun

2010-06-11T18:44:00.002+02:00

I am listening to the 2010 FIFA Theme Song by K´naan. And finally the long searched pieces of the puzzle came together: people ask why there is never so much excitement around UN general assembly meetings as there is around the world cup. Why Copenhagen failed even though people walked, cycled and swam there from all over the world? Why the whole sustainability conversation is becoming a nuisance before it reached it´s tipping point?

Was there a theme song associated with them? Were people betting on the outcome? Did people wave flags and wear colorful wigs? Did everyone move in one one rhythm, did people really connect for the purpose? Did people hang out with friends, having something to drink, to eat and staring glued at the screen while making jokes, yelling at the players thousands of kilometers away, jump out excited every time a player approached the goal?

It is true, sustainability has become a fashion thing, but it has never really become FUN, something that connects us out of joy instead of necessity.
So, to all those campaigning for a more connected, more responsible future - MAKE IT FUN! Make people´s feet dance, but fundamentally, not here and there every now and then!

Let´s see if COP 16 in Mexico can make the FUN and the change - the success. We still have time - good 5 months!

Summer's here

2010-06-04T12:59:00.002+02:00

Not only have I not written for over a month, I am still out of ideas that could be topics of general interest. I feel like writing up a list of bullet points on all the things happening in the world and in my life. But that is not too helpful, either.

So I will write about the spring / summer in Amsterdam that again makes all my doubts about the city vanish. I have just had a not entirely pleasant tax attorney on the phone for 20 minutes, and not having resolved my issue, I still feel no anger. I must be because I see the Magere Brug from my office window. And the sun is shining.

Friends are coming to town, we are going to places, having a good time all over. What else? There are some major international issues as we speak (such as the BP oil spill, the Israeli attack on the aid convoy, the resignation of the Japanese prime minister, just to mention a few), but since I now feel an urge to enjoy the sun and do my job well to maximize my impact in my own position & live a sustainable life, I can only observe the development on the international scene.

And, the World Cup is starting. Summer is here. BBQ and picnic time almost every day. We live in the city with amazing parks all over the place. With canals to avoid dry air. With a comfortable background. It's fantastic, but maybe it's unfair and wrong. Nevertheless, would "not enjoying what you have" also not be wrong?

So, let's just let it flow... and go with the flow... and have an amazing early summer 2010 (I am still tempted to type 2009)....

Just live with it?

2010-05-09T21:28:00.002+02:00

I read a newspaper article this morning, about gypsy women is Slovakia. How they are treated as "damaged goods" if they do not give birth by their 16th birthday. How many of them escape from hospital after giving birth to please their husbands sexual desire before he has time to go pay a visit to the neighbor's wife.
I have recently seen the movie Precious, where a girl was continuously raped by her father and gave birth to two children.
I know that in our society women are way better off then elsewhere. Practically, we are equal to men. We have the same rights, yet sex industry and sexism in advertisement and showbiz continues. If it's by choice, be my guest. I do not mind at all if ladies out of their free will accept being treated as a sexual object.
I mind if it affects me.
I mind if someone misleads and and disrespects me.
I mind if I am valued for who I please and not for myself.
I am aware of the fact that any woman's situation in the western world is so much better than in other cultures. And I am thankful for that.
But I do not understand why is it fun to make sexist jokes, why is it okay for men to joke about their wives, why are women still working against their will in the sex industry, why are women so often still having to put up even with the infidelity of their partners and silently stay by their side.
Just thinking about it makes me shake with anger. Just because something is common practice, it does not mean that it should stay that way. Women have the same right as men. I want them to have same respect as men.
Women are amazing creatures. Not objects of desire. Not items to possess.
I am a woman. I am different from a man. But I do not give up on demanding the same respect as I offer to men. I wonder how other ladies feel about it.
I do not want to call myself a feminist. I a a humanist - wanting equal respect for both genders. What is the level of respect depends on the individuals. I for example would like to be treated as I treat others.
And if that is not good enough, treat me back badly. My own fault.
But I just cannot live with "that's just the way it is". That will not get us any further.

Queensday

2010-04-29T23:46:00.002+02:00

It is not the Queens birthday, but we celebrate is nevertheless. With the whole city becoming a marketplace, a massive concert hall.
It starts the night before the "Birthday". I would like to be there right now. But my kidneys decided to hurt, so I just decided to stay at home and catch up with friends online.
This occasion in town also attracts many other people who actually do not live here and they all want to catch up. It´s a nice period, also because it´s already spring and it´s a public holiday.
Basically, this day mark the beginning to festivities in the city - BBQs in parks, outdoor festivals, enjoying a white beer on the terrace of a cafe after work... oh, Queen´s day marks the beginning of the fun part of the year.
And about the rest of the year...let´s not think about it now.
So, let me go back to watching tv and sweating to get cured so that I can dive into the joyful city tomorrow morning!
The thing is, the city is too crowded to meet the people you are actually looking for. But there is a good chance you run into many others, almost forgotten acquaintances!
Long live the Queen!

Busy

2010-04-08T19:39:00.002+02:00

Spring is here and it feels like you have to do 200 things at the same time - pick up dusty hobby projects and bring them back to light, take a few personal development courses (that you don´t find the time to do homework for), finally ask the physiotherapist about the cure to your back pain, visit friends in neighboring countries, get your family to visit you for a celebration, celebrate the Queen´s birthday and sigh with relief that you won´t vote in the national elections.
And this is just a start - organize and attend parties, dinners, BBQs, lend a shoulder to your friends who do not see the joy in the spring and - goes without saying - perform beyond anyone´s expectation at work.
Yeyyy, so much fun! Going to have a drink to celebrate activity :-)

GRI conference

2010-04-08T19:35:00.002+02:00

Today I go for the straightforward post: an update on something happening in Amsterdam and very relevant to anyone
1) caring about sustainability
2) wanting to find out more about the changing landscape on actors in the field of sustainability
3) interested in hearing the latest news from the world´s top 100 sustainability people
4) wanting to network with leaders in the field.
I will be there for sure. It´s still not too late to sign up.
See you there, too?

Deep Democracy

2010-03-21T19:50:00.002+01:00

Just came back from a two day workshop on Deep Democracy (http://deep-democracy.net/). I recommend for anyone who has been in difficult situations of deliberating to have a look at it. The basic concept build on the fact that if 50% + 1 vote for a certain thing, it goes through. It is still decided by the majority, but leaves 50% -1 unhappy with the outcome.
To give you a taste of what Deep Democracy does as a social technology, it acknowledges the position of those who did not win the vote and explores how to avoid them becoming disengaged (or even working against the majority) by posing a simple question:
What do you need to come along?
It explores what is it the majority will need to do to not lose the minority. Depending on the topic of deliberation, the answer will vary - from "I am fine with it" to "I need to vote again, I do not believe we did not come out on top".
There is an elaborate theory on how to use this tool. Nevertheless, there are some tricks that can be used even out of context and they are still extremely helpful in helping organizations keep their coherence.

What really matters - and when

2010-03-01T10:54:00.001+01:00

The sustainable and responsible lifestyle of the Bhutanese and several African and South-American communities is an inspiring story. The connectedness to one's environment and the community of living at large is a powerful example.

Sometimes, when empathy and care seems so absent from our lives, pragmatism and survival seems to be the main message that comes across. I have however recently become aware of two cases that allowed me to think: when the time comes, even though it will be painful, we, as humanity or as smaller communities, will return to our roots, our values and re-evaluate our way of being.

The first story is about Iceland, in September 2009, during the unimaginable economic recession.The news came on Euronews: Jon Olafsson, a social sciences professor, said that the heroes of yesterday are considered the villains of today, and that people's values and lifestyles are changing together with a shift in mindset. This extraordinary example shows, that once circumstances change and we cannot go around living our life as before, we may be at the right spot to rethink, what we actually are doing right and what really matters. Material possessions matter, but maybe not as much as we often think they do.

The other example was Haiti - the news in the New York Times reported "Fighting Starvations, Haitians Share Portions", saying that new rules of hunger etiquette were emerging. Regardless of how hungry the person is who receives food, it always needs to be shared. Many women started up improvised soup kitchen selling food at discounted price. Even though it will be very difficult for the country to get out if its current situation, people are not sitting around idly, but are trying to rebuild their lives, thereby even becoming social entrepreneurs and caring for the community's needs.

Haitians are in this together and while the Western world is trying to help out, it will be up to the locals to rebuild their lives. It is beautiful to see that they are already doing so - based on the laws of sharing and caring. While no one knows how the road to recovery will look in Haiti, it is already visible that the Haitians will do their best to to it together, to be there for each other, to create an economy based on sharing, not on quick growth.

There are beyond doubt mane more similar cases, even in our respective neighborhoods. These examples are truly powerful and empowering. These prove that an alternative way of thinking and acting is possible and viable. It makes 2010 a really hopeful year and the years ahead even more so.

Paris

2010-03-01T10:17:00.003+01:00

I wanted to write a post about the WACAP conference organised by the UNDP in Rotterdam on 24-26 February, which aimed to empower cities and municipalities to fight poverty and social exclusion. And I hope to come back to that theme.
But more importantly (for me), we have just spent a weekend in Paris and that experience took over the space of WACAP in my brain. Paris, mon amour, pour toujours....
I used to study in Paris and had quite a hard time. And I have not gone back there for 6 years. Until last week. The city changed - the restaurant I used to work at is now an artist atelier. Yet the monuments of the city look exactly the same way they did six years ago. Saint Michel, Jardin de Luxembourg, Place de Vosges, Ile Saint Louis....sheer beauty!
There were also a lot of those who did not make use of the numerous Cartier and Lancel stores. Poverty was around before and was there now. Pickpockets have equipped themselves with new tricks. Everyone seemed to be a smoker. There was decadence, shopping and something that vaguely reminded me of good food and art.
An amazing weekend, though.
The experience was quite different from my previous visits to the town. It is strange to think about it, but it was mainly because I was somewhat less broke than on previous encounters with the city of romance, decadence, Serge Gainsbourg, fashion and elegance.
I have an itch to go back, soon again!

Pragmatic generation

2010-02-23T14:59:00.003+01:00

I attended a lunch talk yesterday at the Hub (www.the-hub.net - in case you are interested). The theme of the conversation was social innovation in the city - it came down to social cohesion and how to make it happen in a creative, co-creating way.
I never really thought about the role of generations - Generaton X, Y, Z (Digital Natives), Baby Boomers, Baby Busters, Lost Generation etc. But a gentleman at the lunch talk yesterday said to us: you are a pragmatic generation - you are not fighting against anything, you are fighting FOR what you believe in.
While I agree with that, I still believe I am more of an idealist than a pragmatist. After all, I am Generation Y. Until I looked up on Wikipedia the "List of Generations". It turns out, that being born in 1980 still puts me in the Generation X category. Which is a wake up call,
I am looking at my birth date now.... 1980. It really sounds so last millennium.
Pragmatist last millennium. So I sit here and try not to get too passionate about the things I find important, about things I disagree with, about anything. I am trying be be a pragmatist Generation X person.
But since I find it difficult, it gives me hope that I may just not fit the usual description of any generation, since I was born in a particular part of the world, with specific experiences that did not make the Generation X features strong in me.
After all, Generation X,Y,Z only fits some people, not so much others. And that's fine. We do not need to squeeze ourselves into tight little boxes.
Let's just be - passionate or pragmatic - whatever works for you!

Working together

2010-02-17T13:11:00.003+01:00

So I decided to put my energy and effort into a for profit initiative to bring awareness to businesses on sustainable practices. For almost nothing, for less than unemployment benefit (it's also true that I am not entitled to this "uitkering"). Full time. Getting the project off the ground, lots of things done.

A kind person recently told me that "You must be really desperate to make a difference!". I smiled. And now I smile again. For for a different reason. One has ultimately no one else to blame for certain choices but themselves.

Being into personal development and community building, yet also on the journey of defining my borders, I took the role on and tried to be assertive, yet hard working. Working a lot, delivering results for almost nothing. For helping a company to build a project I would not be around to enjoy the benefits of. Fully understanding that I do it for the purpose, for large companies rethinking certain ways. Yet, I also hoped to generate open communication and feedback loops.

I got my feedback this morning, while getting ready to engage some organisations for potential partnership. It said, "Thank you, that's it. We work with different rules. You can leave. Now."
Oops, that is normally not what an open, adaptive organisation would say. At least for sure they would not start the conversation with this. So, here I am, feeling better about not working for something I believe in with people I find hard to believe in. When you look back, it becomes all clear, the messages you should have picked up on earlier. It did not happen, though. So I smile. Yes, maybe I was just a tiny bit to desperate to make a difference since I have no agreement on paper. If with nothing else at all, I will walk away richer. In experience.

Sometimes you are not aware of the things you are capable of doing. In this role, I could sometimes hardly believe the success I achieved in a day. Real confidence boost.
I also learnt that there are many people out there not open to personal development, and despite being great people, they still hold on too tight to the command & control type of management.

I learnt that I need to watch my back better. And that I need to find ways to get people to talk before they explode and there is no way back.
Well, all in all, it was great. But I hope I won't do it again! :-)

High Potential

2010-02-16T10:06:00.003+01:00

Last night - one of my volunteer activities - I had the opportunity to work with 20+ high potential "allochtonen" - non-Dutch students. They were between 20 and 24, working at banks, municipalities, doing UN internships, etc. There was so much ambition in the room, that I wondered how I will manage to ask them "What do you still need to improve about yourself?". They did not need improvement - in their own perception. So we did an exercise. It was a challenge to keep them focused and invite them to re-examine their ways.
I did a similar exercise last year. With the previous group. Yesterday, some of them came to share their experience from the year long program. I remember, last year the room was full of ambitions and will, too. I was wondering how last year's group has changed. And they have changed - they have become more grounded, calm, but did not lose their determination. They were fully present. One of them said that she met a lot of people, great networking opportunities. And not only can you network for yourself, but also for the others. So I thought, how great! They have become aware of the true power of networking. Just do it and make the best connections happen. Don't worry, you will not lose your position by letting other benefit from your network.

I also saw this high potentials as hungry for success. Do the morally right thing. I am still an idealist, but I have given up looking for absolute answers. They haven't. It is also fine to be very ambitious and embark on a corporate journey. It may be the right journey for some. All I would like to help them see, that there are alternatives to that journey. That there are no absolute answers and it's a matter of balancing ways forward. Why not try doing good and doing well, for example?

Can you ever get over it?

2010-02-09T14:44:00.002+01:00

I am not even fully aware of the definition of social intelligence, but I intuitively think, that smiling and being nice to those around you is part of it.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Netherlands, and admire their egalitarian approach to everything. I like how they do not make big deals out of things.
On the other hand, having to prepare for your interaction with those working in the service industry as one would prepare for a minor battle, does take a lot of energy. I just came back from the pharmacy... I felt terrible about daring to disturb the ladies standing in front of shelves reaching up to the ceiling, not wearing a white coat, putting boxes here and there and then back here, for signature and then with a piece of paper back there.
My box of medicine was within the reach of my arm, on the counter, but it has not been checked out yet by the head pharmacist (?). So I stood. Like the other fellow intruders, we were taken for thin air. We were even afraid to talk to each other not to disturb the box relocating process. But frustration was building up.
I just want that little box. I do not mind any more the state of health insurance, I am willing to pay for it. Just let me have it. But no... Ultimately one of the ladies came over and after 10 minutes of soundless waiting, almost a tear of despair in my eye, I got the box!!! Victory!
I left the pharmacy, feeling the cold Amsterdam air felt so refreshing, I was not the intruder at the pharmacy any more.
And now I needed milk. But I could pick it up at the supermarket where I did not have to wait at the mercy of shopkeeper, I just took it from the shelf and rejoice the young girl at the counter, who does not look at me and looks extremely bored, but at least she scans all my groceries in 20 seconds and I am out and free of the service industry again...for hours!!!!
Still, I will not get it. Everyone likes being smiled at. Do not people in the service industry understand that smiling is the first step to building lasting relationships with clients?
Or am I missing out on something?

The luxury problem

2010-02-05T13:46:00.003+01:00

Given the current economic downturn, many people have found themselves out of jobs and struggling to find their next engagement. Most people are out of their usual jobs by necessity, not so much by choice.
In that respect, I belonged to the luckier ones - I have decided to move on despite an offer to stay. Once you know what matters to you and you know what capacities you have to contribute to making your dream job happen, you just have to go. In turns out that many young people realised at the same time as myself, that having a CSR related, responsible and connected job is what they want. This made a market in Amsterdam rather saturated. I have heard that to positions where previously 10 people would apply, organizations are now receiving over 200 applications. It's even so hard to make sure anyone actually has the time to read all those CVs and motivation letters through.
And it's just as hard to stay motivated as a job seeker.
I was again on the lucky end of the spectrum, I was volunteering for an NGO I highly admired and we created some interesting programs. Yet at the end of the day, some income is necessary to keep going. So I kept looking.
And then it happened.
The luxury problem - I got 3 job offers in one week. All the the range of what I was looking for, with minor trade offs. What do you do? Which way do you take? How do you explain to yourself and those who offered you the jobs you end up not taking why you decided the way you did?
So I googled the solution: "How to build a good career" - I looked up all the criteria that you should base your decision on.
I talked to a motivational speaker and asked him what he would do. I tried to sleep over it. And nothing, I was still struggling to decide. I was blaming it on my zodiac (I am a libra). But still...
And then, I went about it the other way.
I asked why would I accept each of the offer. And I came to the core of the issue. If I accepted one, eventually, I would be very exhausted from commuting. The other one I would have accepted for the team. And the third I would have accepted for myself, for my ambition, to prove to myself that I can make it.
Success is still not guaranteed. But I made my choice. At least temporarily (the offer is temporary).
So, sad story turned good story turned reality. Let's see where this road leads.
The cups in the picture have nothing to do with the text. I just liked the picture. And the are three cups, all slightly different. And I had 3 offers.

The Geopolitics of Emotion

2010-01-22T10:24:00.004+01:00

Despite having studied international relations, I do not remember having come across Dominique Moisi! I have heard of Gilpin´s and Kissinger´s approach to geopolitics, which always seemed like a realistic "Homo homini lupus" approach. Sad, cold and rational.
I came across an article my Mr. Moisi the other day. Since then I have understood that his theory has been around for some time and that many scholars have already lined up to support him. But somehow, I have not come across it before.
Nevertheless, the point is that he looks at geopolitics from an emotional perspective - that of fear and hope. He suggests (among others) the the US culture is dominated by individual fear and collective hope. Whereas the Western European one is guided by collective fear.
Mr. Moisi has 2 scenarios for 2025, depending on humanity being guided by fear or hope.
If guided by fear: after the 2018 4th Intifadah, the Middle East is in complete chaos. Terrorist groups are gaining power, they have already employed biological weapons that killed some 30.000 people. Nation states´ borders are closed down, everyone bacame suspicious and fearful of "the other".
If guided by hope: the USA is the greenest economy of the world, the EU has become united, Turkey joined the EU as a whole and business practices have become much more sustainable. Oh, and the Middle-East problem has been solved.
OK, these brief scenarios do not mention other major powers (Russia, China, India, SAR, Brazil Mexico, rest of Asia, Africa), but it gives you the idea of the severity of the state.
Now, the choice is ours. Fear or hope? apparently, we are too comfortable in our mental models to invest into looking at the world with hope.

Another example of being in flow

2010-01-22T10:13:00.002+01:00

The other day I was decorating a shawl with beads. I wanted to decorate its both ends symmetrically. I got some beads and divided them into two equal heaps. And I started sewing. Halfway the first side, I thought I do not have enough beads in this group to finish my pattern. Or maybe I do. No, i don´t think so. Well, let´s just see. - I was having this conversation with myself, looking for alternative solutions - maybe I need to buy more beads. Maybe I will just leave it unfinished. Or maybe I will have enough beads? No, that´s unlikely.
I observed changes in my productivity depending on the paradigm I was thinking in ' in the one of hope or that one of surrender.
So, I ran out of beads for one end of the shawl. And my pattern was unfinished. So my boyfriend asked, why don´t you chose another pattern for the other end? A smaller one, maybe. Good thinking - I thought, and started sewing on the other hand. Again, without counting the actual number of available beads.
After some time, I finished the pattern and had beads left to return to the first edge of the shawl and finish that one. It all worked out beautifully.
Yet in the process I had doubts, I was looking for alternatives, I even came close to giving up. Fortunately, as I let go of the in-the -box thoughts, everything came together and I managed to finish the job and feel good about it!

2010, the year of...

2010-01-03T16:29:00.003+01:00

What will happen in 2010? Elections. Yes. Dynamic development of international relations and diplomacy (now that the EU has it's "faces" as well). Yes. The winter Olympic and Paralympic games in Vancouver. Greening economies, recovering from the recession, yes. Addressing global challenges. Hopefully.
In 2010 we'll have have the European Year for Combating Poverty and Social Exclusion - http://www.2010againstpoverty.eu/. It is rather inward focused - no mention of global poverty and exclusion, at least not for now....
In 2010, the European Cultural Capitals are Essen in Germany, Istanbul in Turkey and Pecs in Hungary. If this choice provokes you, feel free to start a discussion about it. I find the choice great, an out of the box step. It makes me proud...
What else will be 2010 known for? It's also maybe up to you.

BUEK /PF 2010

2010-01-03T15:57:00.002+01:00

I have somehow not managed to upload a festive post before the Christmas holidays. Neither during them (but then I had no intention to be connected to the world wide web). Yet now I would like to wish you a belated happy new year, a successful and prosperous 2010.
Making plans for 2010, personal and professional ones makes one be able to map things out better. This will be a big year, no doubt. Business is changing, consumers habits are changing, technological development continues to accelerate - it will be a decisive year for Twitter, for space research and alternative energies. But most of all, it should be a year when we take time to get grounded, to assess what went wrong in 2009 (and what went well, for that matter) and build on the experience. And to take time to do things that really matter. Make Christmas decorations, write birthday cards, read the newspapers, catch up with friends ... and be happy for each others' success.

Global Warming - or just Climate Change

2009-12-17T12:41:00.005+01:00

Apparently, "global warming" sounds more negative than "climate change", that is why the George W. Bush administration pushed the concept of "climate change", to sound more neutral. I personally think "global cooling" sounds much worse, though. Indeed, we are experiencing extremes, incredibly hot seasons and freezing cold wind storms. As we are now approaching Xmas (sorry for the underscore, Blogger lives its own life now), thinks got quite chilly all of the sudden. So yes, this phonomenon suggest there is no global warming.
I however resonate with the fact, that temperature extremes as they are deviating from the norm now, are a serious problem. A problem not directly for us, yet. We still have heating systems and air-conditioning. But a problem to the ecosystems on which we so directly depend on - on the breeding season of birds and mammals, the dissolving of the bottom of the food chain due to the acidification of sea waters, the hunger and frustration in developing countries that will come back to us just like a boomerang.
But to come back to the core of the problem (the above are mere consequences of the changing climate): so many from Al Gore, through Prof. Stern, Jim Hansen and Bill McKibben and Pachauri have said it: It is not the tempreature deviations in themselves that are the root of the problem, but the increasing number of CO2 equivalent particles per million (ppm) in our atmosphere that is the driving force behind the tamperatue shift. And whereas in the past CO2 ppm has been fluctuating, never to the extent as it is now. And another thing, whereas in the past tempereture change was the driver of CO2 ppm increase, now it is the other way around: even if we stop emitting now, CO2 ppm will stay in the atmospthere and drive temperature up (and down). And nature will not come to check in with the weather man every morning what kind of weather we would like on a given day: what scientists provide us now with are estimates. We cannot know the exact change. And thus we cannot prepare for its consequences.
Now that is a real loud alarm, a call for action. If somedoby tells you that they still do not believe in climate change, please refer them to one of the many websites:
http://www.occ.gov.uk/activities/stern.htm
www.unfccc.org
www.350.org
http://www.ehow.com/how_2155972_convince-global-warming-skeptic.html

Road trip to Copenhagen

2009-12-17T11:50:00.002+01:00

Our trip to Copenhagen was too amazing! In the beginning it looked like a true road trip - not knowing the way to our destination, not having the the address of the famous SHIP 15, or of the Klimaforum. Nevertheless, we made it - always knowing only 1 step ahead what will happen.
As we entered the Meshwork space the next day and started hosting conversations, our experience started taking on another dimension: we met people with activist agendas, with deep scientific knowledge, some with great passion and energy and others with restlessness, a need to act. I heard stories of people cutting Xmas holidays in order to be able to come to CPH, people who had to made serious choices about their budgets to be able to walk onthe 12 December to Bella center. No wonder some went to the space of desperation when the demonstrations turned violent. The streets were (and today still are) filled with energy - both anger, hope and restless excitement. We are all watching the news every day with hope for breakthrough...today the news also reflected frustration - talking about technicalities instead of focusing on the vision. Who can make a difference? Who can initiate a fundamental shift in people's thinking, in the system?
We all can do something, we all have choices to make, networks in which we can raise awareness. The road trip turned into an inspiring experience of opening people's minds and sharing information and knowledge and that turned into a reflective time in which we all looked into a mirror to ask - What piece of the puzzle am I really? Do I live up to it? People have so much passion and energy, and find it sometimes so difficult to channel it! We have seen scientists believing they have the answer to renewable energy questions, business people saying that we just do not have our green marketing well figured out, and lots of people who came in pointing fingers and politicians and left with being open to take their share of the work on. When you see people shifting around you, when you feel you can actually contribute to that shift, you all of the sudden realize you're shifting as well, you enter a flow of which you know the desired destination, but nothing else.
I am still in that flow, despite having returned to Amsterdam and knowing my daily duties and carrying them out as they should be. It is a strange feeling, as if I was still on the boat, as if I still had to define the ground under my feet. It's an experience that is hard to explain, but that is an eye opener.
So, tomorrow is that last day of the COP 15, I will not be there, I will be in Amsterdam writing an article about greening supply chains. And one about leadership. How did my hands get so full all of the sudden with work that I see the sense in? I guess it is true, when you find your true passion and talent, you get grounded and things will come to you. Or you will reach out to things that have always been around but you never fully appreciated them.
So, no I will not be in Copenhagen tomorrow, just as so many other people. I will be here, trying to make my piece of the puzzle happen.
What will you do tomorrow to make sure the days after it will be even better? For the long term.

Dr. Rauni Kilde

2009-11-27T16:48:00.002+01:00

I just discovered this lady full of conspiracy theories, claiming to understand the world, the meaning of life and the extraterrestrials. Now, it would be a stretch to say I fully agree with what she is saying, or that she is unique in her opinions, but I would agree that listening to her pulls one out of the box. She offers a perspective that requires the listener to re-frame, to think about norms and social structures differently. I particularly liked the word "synthetic telepathy" which is mind control in her words.
I find telepathy sometimes works without one thinking of it. It's always natural. And it's also rare. I like it without wanting to explain it, just enjoying it and smiling when it happens. Synthetic telepathy sounds like acrylic underwear. (I am allergic to synthetic textiles and get a rash from them. Obviously, underwear having full contact with skin is the worst of the worst.) Synthetic telepathy is for my an oxymoron.
Nevertheless, Ms. Kilde's explanation of near death experiences put for a moment something that is so complex to even start thinking about into a clear, comfortable concept. You can watch her on youtube, but only if you have time and if you look at it as "an interesting perspective" rather than take it in word by word.
Sometimes I wonder about all these competing social theories, motivational speakers, enlightened leaders etc. on one hand and Kim Jong-il and Chavez and....many people I do not know by name on the other end of the spectrum. It's even hard to believe that we are the species. Or would it be all about marketing and blurred communication channels and we are ultimately all striving for goodness?

Confusing weather

2009-11-24T17:34:00.002+01:00

There are certain habits we have in different seasons of the year. Now, in late November, we wear warm clothes, each heavier food, get used to the sun going down earlier, one just adapts to fall in anticipation of winter, secretly looking forward to the Spring next year.
But this year the weather seems to be way too moody - one day a massive wind storm, super heavy rain, the next day almost 20 degrees and a blue, sunny sky.
The other day we were sitting on the couch, eating chestnuts sent especially from Portugal (they were delicious, but try not to think about their carbon footprint). It was a warm night. It´s odd to eat chestnuts when it´s so warm, I thought.
So I decided, there is no other way, I will go to Copenhagen and will talk to Mr/Ms Weather and tell them that this is no way of getting us into the calm winter mood. Not to even mention Sinterklaas and Christmas. It´s all around the corner and climate change seems to be changing our inner climate. I do not feel Christmas-y at all. It saves me money on the Christams presents I am not buying, but for the rest, it makes me feel like I should be feeling something I am not.
Stop global warming, give us the white Christmas back!

Going to Copenhagen

2009-11-16T08:32:00.002+01:00

The world's eyes will be on Copenhagen in 3 weeks. Countries will gather again to come to an agreement about curbing CO2 emissions while ensuring economic growth. This is a crucial event that a more sustainable future depends on.
Hundreds of thousands of people will be going to the Danish capital - some to meditate and send positive energy, others to demonstrate for an even better outcome, and many more to participate at some of the numerous side events.
I would love to be in Copenhagen, to feel the energy of this crucial moment. But let's think about this logistically: all of these enthusiasts of cutting emissions will produce a massive carbon footprint by going to Copenhagen. Also, the city will have to provide food and shelter to at least double of their usual population. What a stress this will be...ensuring public safety, the usual flow of life ....
Now, I really would like to be there, but will only go if I can play a volunteer / facilitator role at some of the side events, to have the feeling that there is more to "being there".
I would love to say, "Hope to see you there", but this is a choice everybody has to make for themselves. Me too :-)

The lobster and the leather jacket

2009-10-30T09:34:00.003+01:00

Since I am currently not working full time, I have the time to contemplate. One of my favourite activities, only sometimes my brain seems to overheat :-)
So, last night in Dutch class my classmate said (we were doing some grammar exercises): Ik heb nog nooit zeekreeft gegeten. (I have never eaten a lobster.)
And I thought, how wonderful! There is a small drive this person has, a small dream that he could fulfill if he really wanted (there are some accessible restaurants in town with great seafood). But he chooses to dream of it rather than going for it. Well, I think if you never eat lobster in your life, your life shall not be dull and grey due to that fact.
I also have a dream. Small and silly. I would like a leather jacket. And every season in the shops of Amsterdam there are about 10 new models. But I never buy one. I always convince myself that I do not actually need it (which is by definition, true). So I keep dreaming of it, but maybe I will never get one. And I feel comfortable with it.
Because (apart from wanting to see businesses become much more connected to their environments), I have a small dream and it makes me feel human. It makes me wish for it and play with the feeling, trying to not let the "want" take me over.
And of course, again, both the lobster and the leather jacket are really not basic products we need for everyday survival.
There are people out there going to sleep hungry and wearing our long forgotten given-away clothes.
Lobster and a leather jacket - how far fetched these concepts may be for them. How superfluous to a happy life!

Taking energy for granted

2009-10-27T08:46:00.002+01:00

With the arrival of the rains and the cold season to Amsterdam, I returned home in the afternoon, hoping to turn up the intensity of the heating system. Oh, and a hot shower would have been nice, too. Nevertheless, the heating system refused to response. I called the plumbers. They came and said we were lucky not to have exploded, the whole system needs to be fixed. I asked how long, he said a few days.
It took over a week. In this week, I went to the gym a few times to take a shower, for the rest, I was heating up water in a pot, mixing it with cold water and pouring it in small dosages over myself. After the "cleaning procedure", there were no warm clothes to put on, no warm corner to sit in. So it was hot tea and a thick blanket that kept us going. After a few days I almost got used to this solution.
And then, one sunny autumn morning, the heating system started to work again. And now I am getting used to the luxury of a warm apartment and the possibility of taking a shower any time I feel like it! It is all here, in this 39 square meters. Warmth, internet, connection to the outside world, all possible entertainment gadgets, best food one could wish...what an extremely comfortable life we lead!
And the whole experience made me appreciate the energy supply each household in this country has. Made to understand that things we here take for granted, are actually not granted by far to everybody, everywhere.
And indeed, from a global perspective, it indeed is a luxury!

The role of profit in the triple bottom line

2009-10-22T15:25:00.002+02:00

The triple bottom line stands for people, planet and profit. Economy should function in service of these three Ps if it is to function successfully in the long term. If it is to function sustainably.
Yesterday I heard somebody say that "I'm willing to conduct business sustainably, if I can make a lot of money on it". Hm, I was intrigued. Sustainability and profit. What is their interrelation? I have thought about it a lot already, and the statement I just heard was not in line with my conclusions.
Nevertheless, profit is important, I agree, too. But can it be a driver of sustainable business? I still have my doubts. If a business is conducted in service of the people and without harming the planet, it should ultimately generate profit. Right. I agree with this approach. Profit is a consequence of sustainable conduct, and not the driver of it.
That is what makes profit in the triple bottom line different for me from business as usual.
And yes, investments into "greening the business" should bring about returns. Profit is the oil of the 3Ps. I wonder how many businesses are already thinking along these lines. And how many of them will make it to the Fortune 500. Will there still be a Fortune 500 in a responsible, sustainable world?

The lights...

2009-10-11T18:22:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I had the chance to see the premiere of the La Bayadere ballet in Amsterdam. It was breathtaking, what an amazing performance! I was taken into a fairy tale land and felt like the whole world would be so much more elegant if we all danced around in ballet moves. Well, I guess it will not happen, but it was still a nice thought.
At times the stage was full of dancers, all in amazing costumes and fantastic focus on their pieces. Then there were moments of solo dancing. During one of these moments I realized that the light always followed perfectly the moves of the dancer, even though they changed direction quite abruptly. Yet not one mistake - the light always followed them.
And that was natural. Unnatural would be if the light lost the dancer. The person in charge of the lights remained invisible throughout the play, yet his work was so crucial to the success of the overall performance.
The invisible, yet crucial ingredient for the success reminded me of Jean Monnet of who those interested in the history of the European Integration know a lot. He did a big part of the preparation of the ECSC, yet did not push himself into the spotlight. I consider him kind of a "servant leader". And the same is valid for the person in charge of the lights last night. There are many more people who we do not see, but who make our lives so much smoother.
I really admire them for staying in the back and guiding us from there instead of carrying a flag in the front. I even hope to be like them!

Make you mind not move

2009-10-03T12:47:00.003+02:00

We are constantly on the run from somewhere to some other place that turns out to be as we expected it. We are constantly trying to absorb information, sometimes in an unfiltered way that than causes random ideas to not fit in any mental framework we have until it gets lost again. It's colors, sounds, impressions, feelings, desires, regrets, tasks, responsibilities, deep thoughts, religious commitments, etc. - thoughts constantly flying through our head, some returning after a few hours, most of the time in a disconnected (list-like) way.
What are your plans for the weekend? Where do you want to go for holidays? What will you get for who for Xmas? How will you find your next job? Why are they playing this music on tv?
Constant flow of questions - this is a place I often find myself at. At mental movement. I do not want my brain to go idle and just hang out in my head because it's kinda warm and cozy in there. I am constantly dumping information in it, often even pushing it to make connections between individual pieces of information.
Well, I am not good at listening to podcasts and to iPods, though, so the outside - in flow is not constant. At least not through my ears.
And today I saw this Poonja video about "making your mind not move". It is unlikely that I can do it for a long time. Yet when you just stop for a moment when I am in the middle of a zillion things, all of the sudden I felt like a boat at the haven, like I have arrived and things got really calm around me. What a great feeling. Things will come to you, to me, even if we are not constantly trying to fit it into our existing frameworks.
Just let it emerge. And make sure your mind is present to spot it.

Network based economy = Tribes?

2009-09-23T16:54:00.004+02:00

Seth Godin's best seller talks about organising ourselves into "tribes". And this is indeed something we naturally do lately. We live in a network based economy, not to be confused with clientelism. It's just functional.
Large service provider institutions often let us down. So we look for solutions outside the "prescribed pathway" - through talking to people who know people who may have an answer to our question.
I find this great and would like to encourage others to do this: look around to see who is in your network and see what value added can you bring to them and vice versa. Networks are also open, thus the different networks one belongs to can become interconnected through one of their members. Over time more and more overlap will be discovered and more networks will be connected into each other. Organically, naturally, elegantly.
This may be something YOU have always been aware of and built on, but I am just in the process of discovering how it works. I feel I always had the opportunity to connect people who had common needs or interests, but never really looked at it from a systemic perspective.
And now I do.
It is beautiful. It reminds me of Garrett Lisi's Beautiful theory of everything on TED. And of Margaret Wheatley. Everything seems to be falling in its place in a seeming chaos.

Language law

2009-09-13T18:16:00.002+02:00

As many of you may have heard, there is a language law debate in the country of my citizenship - in Slovakia. Many say it is against the minority I belong to - against the Hungarians. This is a value laden conversation that I would like to avoid.
What I would like to address, though, is the fact that languages are living, dynamic systems that evolve and change by the minute. They are means that connect us, not something we should consciously use as a tool for dividing us and building mistrust based on it. How backward is a law that requires citizens to spy on each other and report each other to the "language police". The closest that comes to mind for comparison in George Orwell's 1984.
As a matter of fact, the world is still full of stereotypes and prejudice. I catch myself every now and then building a false assumption, even though I really do not intend to do so. Dividing ourselves into native speakers and non-native speakers who may make a mistake and should be penalized is no way a step forward. In the Netherlands an extreme right party demands the government to report on the "cost of each foreigner". I am a foreigner and pay 42% taxes each month on my salary. Can I at least not be pointed at as a free rider of the system? Can we stop creating buckets that we throw people into and create demands on them to prove our power?
Just the fact, that somebody raises the question of a language law or wants to establish my costs as if I was a ton of waste is really not helping my fruitful co-existence with the majority (which is another "bucket" I am using now).
Can we stop this, please? We claim to be the developed Europe of the 21st century. Can we then please refocus on fixing global challenges rather than creating new ones?
I am in a way grateful for the Czech saying "What, are you a Hungarian?"which is used when somebody does not make sense. Once somebody asked me this question and I innocently answered "Yes, I am."Which basically meant admitting I have no idea what I am talking about. Interesting perspective, to see somebody makes fun of your nation. And they don't even mean it in a bad way. But some damage could be done with it, even unintentionally.
Maybe it's time to pay more attention to the power of languages and their role in our co-existence.

Matching goodwill with the right occasions

2009-08-31T21:29:00.003+02:00

Sometimes when I walk on the street and see an old lady coming home from shopping with her bag, opening her door and going home to a place she loves, but where she is probably alone, I feel like offering her a smile, or something that would make her smile. I find most old people so wonderful, so fragile, so beautiful.
Sometimes, when I wish I had a flower to offer them, I do not have the flower at hand. The opportunity to offer is there, but the object to offer is not. The occasion does not lead to a happy ending.
Since we receive a bouquet of fresh flowers at our office every Monday and the flowers are still fine by Friday, I sometimes take them with me in order not to leave them in the empty office for the weekend, but offer them to somebody, who may appreciate them. A fortnight ago I did the same. I took the flowers and we went to a small town for a Friday afternoon walk. I held the flowers in my hand and was keeping my eyes open for an opportunity to offer them to somebody.
We walked, and walked, stopped for a drink and continued the walk. At some point I even went up to people (not necessarily old ladies arriving home) and offered them the flowers. But nobody wanted them. After hours of walking and drinking some white beers in Haarlem (not the one in NYC, the one in The Netherlands), I returned home with the flowers in my hand. They still looked beautiful in our living room, but I really wanted to offer them to somebody.
And this is what I learned: you cannot walk around with presents in your pocket all the time, and also cannot expect that once you have something to offer, somebody will be interested in receiving it from you. And that's the order of things.
To let the feeling of willing to give fill you, even if your intention cannot materialize. Maybe next time.

Professionalism in bike repair

2009-08-18T09:48:00.006+02:00

Not using bikes as one's primary means of transport in Amsterdam is no fun. With having and using the bike comes the occasional theft and regular repairs. I have my favourite bike shop. I always buy and get my second hand bike fixed at this particular shop. First I was a student and they had great prices, cool reputation and surprisingly good quality. Until one day the quality of services sterted to decline and the prices crept up. So that last time I went there I was already thinking of looking for a new bike shop, since they messed up again. I got there, ready to voice my frustration over the decline in the quality of services. But I was faced with a guy leaning over the bike and apologizing for any possible delay. My brake was not working. He was fixing it by taking the whole brake structure apart to really see where the problem was. While doing so, he said it's like working on an instrument, listening to it, taking care of it, understanding the problem and reconstructing the thinking of the previous bike repairer to really come to the core of the issue. He said it's like preparing to play the instrument, to play a symphony. Only a good and fit instrument can play well.
Needelss to say, my anger vanished. All I could see a guy passionate about what he was doing. He is an artist in fixing bikes. Of that I was convinced. (And my bike works pretty well now, too.)
Once the brake was fixed and I got a bonus bell ( I did not have one before, which was painful at times of cycling through downtown) I asked how much I owed him. And he said that the least he could do for having to put up with the recent decline in quality is not to charge me.
Now this really got me. I forgot I ever thought about leaving this bike repair shop. If you ever wonder about what authentic marketing is, this is the best example of it I have seen in a loooooong time!

Go, save a child....a voice from Darfur

2009-08-16T22:21:00.003+02:00

I just watched on TED Emmanuel Jal's talk. When in doubt about the future of war children, watch this one: a former war child who received help and never forgot what happened to him, but is asking us all to understand that the most horrifying news never reach us. That we are not fully informed. He gives an account of his "big picture" and despite his recent fame remains humble and thanks those who helped him get his life back after the terrors of war. And he sings...he sings his pain since talking about it is too painful.
The simplicity of the message is powerful: give us the tools, educate people, give them the chance to decide. I cannot replicate his message, but can ask you if you have 18 minutes to watch his message. Do you?

Global Oneness Project

2009-08-05T16:50:00.005+02:00

What are we one with? Are we nothing but cosmic energy? Maybe by definition...but for our every days, this may be a bit of a stretch.
So what are we one with? With ourselves. Our family? Our friends? Our neighborhood? All humans of the world? Even with animals? And plants? With the whole living community?
Hm...ok, let's say we are. By definition.
An abstract definition, that is.
Despite not feeling every day connected to all people we meet, the ability to "zoom out" and think about others inhabiting this planet as us, as parts of a bigger whole that we are all part of is a very enriching experience. It helps me understand that as long and we'll be striving to maximize the well being of one part of the whole whereas the well being of the whole is increasing slower, we actually cause a decrease to the well being of the "non privileged" part of the whole. Nevertheless, we remain a whole. Thus we are damaging ourselves in the long term. Simple as it is, we often forget this and only believe what we can see or count right away.
The Global Oneness Project is about connectedness for me. For you it may be a message of harmony, tribalism, sustainability or something completely different. You can always find out more at www.globalonenessproject.org. But remember, pass it on, do not keep the inspiration to yourself only.

Transitions

2009-07-23T09:41:00.004+02:00

The "transitions" theory by William Bridges is a simple tool I find very useful when dealing with change - not by choice. If you chose to change something in your life, you feel like you are in the driver seat. You made the choice, you have your future mapped out and you are excited.
On the other hand, when change is imposed on you, you feel ...down. Like being dumped, evacuated from your home, losing your job, something that at first sight worsens you overall well-being. So the first stage there is about ending, losing, letting go. About feeling locked in, angry, not feeling in control at all. After looking at the situation for some time and spending some time "down", most of us go into a neutral zone of not having any strong feelings, of "floating". You stop looking back with so much passion, but are not ready yet to look forward to the exciting new opportunities awaiting you. Until one day you wake up, and you feel like you have a plan. You will meet your friends again and talk about your situation, you'll open up to input from the outside. You'll map out the next steps and start building your future. Ultimately, you'll feel again like you're in charge.
The good news is that in the end we are all happy about the change. Only in the non self-induced change we go through a "down" period. And this is not necessarily bad, since it's nice to retreat and reflect a bit when coming to crossroads. The only way out is through :-)

A layman's view of 5 days off

2009-07-19T18:50:00.002+02:00

July 15-19 2009. Five days off festival in Melkweg and Paradiso. Let me tell you how I experienced it. And I may not be the expert on electronic music, so do not expect insider gossips :-)
So, on the 15th (Wednesday night), Santigold's concert started 2,5 hours later than foreseen. But we ran into acquaintances and had a chat, so waiting wasn't that bad. Having learnt from my last experience, I told tall people who were hoping to stand in front of me to let me go in front since I am the shortest around. The Brooklyn born singer finally came on stage and gave a great show, I even recognized a few of her songs. She had 2 dancer girls with her on stage who were very cool!
We then went to see Jamie Lidell. Apparently, we were lucky to arrive too late since th first half was ...way too improvisational, thanks to the amount of light drugs consumed before the performance. But what we sw was great. And then still had a few beers with other friends we ran into.
Thursday - we only went to see Simian Mobile Disco, where the combination of very machine like sounds and flashing white neon lights made me feel nauxious after 2 minutes. My 2 hour afternoon nap may have added to the confusion of my bodily functions.
Friday - they would have to pay me to go to the festival
Saturday - after a very informal exhibition opening in a restaurant in Jordaan, we headed to Meklweg to see Crystal Castles. Starting late as usual. But the music had some traces of melody and was heavily inspired by the 80s punk movement in Germany (but these guys are from Australia). The gig had great energy, the singer jumped into the crowd, people reached the party mood. I did not even mind the flashing neon lights any more. Then we went to see Chris Cunningham. Due to technical problems, the concert started late. At least here they gave us a reason for stating late. :-) The show was short, the main focus was on the VJ work more than on the music. Very provoking, politically incorrect images. Great fun.
So, food time came and after having some delicious french fries in the supercrowded Leidseplein area full of happily drunk teenagers enjoying the freedom of Amsterdam, we headed back to see Dr. Lektroluv. A green guy, basically. You have to keep you audience excited, so you just paint yourself green. And have headphones in the shape of an old timer phone. The music was classical electonic (techno), not too heavy, quite enjoyable. People randomly couplig up. Well, that's the whole point, right? Started on time, finished even later. Nice job!
On the way home we stopped at Paradiso to see Deadmau5. A guy with the fanciest equipment, super skinny (I wonder who takes care of these people's diet / lifestyle), with a big black plastic mousehead on his head. Kinda awkward, I would say. Crowd in ecstasy! (The music was actually good, but it wasn't music by definitoin, only some mixed beats predefined and remixed on the spot.) I appreciated the improvisation. The blond babe on the stage walking around was kind of cute, too. But the flashing neon lights starting giving me a serious headache again. I felt like the 5 days off were over for me.
Sunday - writing a blogpost about the 5 days off. Oh, I think I lost my ring. It's nice to watch some light movies ... no more dancing today... maybe next year.
The thing is, you can't really get into the festival mood if you have to show up at 9am at the office the next day. Festivals should really be outdoors, away from urban areas where people can just camp. I guess that was the idea. But than lazy bums like myself though "I want a convenient festival" and they created one right downtown for us. So I guess I should not complain...

Feminism or Humanism

2009-07-19T18:34:00.003+02:00

I felt relieved when surfing the web I realized that there are actually many people out there wanting to rename "feminism" into "humanism". The thing is, we talk a lot about the emancipation of women on the labour market - wanting equal conditions as men. Ok, that seems to be working out, more and more women get senior positions, great, this species called "women" seems to be reaching the level of men on the professional scene. As if we were a different species.
Ok, let's not go there.
However, what I persoanlly find still very frustrating is how women / men are treated (mistreated) in their private domains. All the pictures, postcards, jokes, comments about women, about their sex are so accepted. At least here, where I live. And now women turned sex into a sport, make jokes about men, treat them as a tool of their pleasure. Female supremacy.
I still find that this misses the point.
It's not male vs. female. This is not the conversation we should be having. Not one being more celebrated and better than the other.
Feminism should be replaced by humanism in the sense of mutual respect and appreciation of genders. We are different, but we so beutifully complement each other in our thinking, approach to life, past and future and our environment.
I believe that as long as we're not having an egaliatarian (not literally meant) conversation, that kind of thinking, we are still going around pretending something we fundamentally know is not right and keep missing out on great opportunities for a jollier world.
I like people regardless of their genders. Most of the time. The way we were brought up marks us for ...most of our lives. But maybe we can unlearn observing the world through a "gender lense".
Let's get started?

What a silly day! I am starting to believe we're really doomed...

2009-07-08T19:19:00.002+02:00

Today, on 8th July 2009 the G8 leaders met in l'Aquila. Great. They decided not to waste time and start discussing measures on climate change - to arrive to Copenhagen later this year with a plan. Fantastic. Chinese leader leaves because of ethnic unrest at home. Bad news.
Negotiations start: Obama presents plan on radically cutting emissions in the developed and developing world. Sounds very exciting. But not to the developing world. The money promised in Bali has not come to them yet. They need proof of our commitment. They want $ 150 billion per year until 2020. Nothing sounds too much after the bailout money to me...
Achim Steiner, CEO of UNEP has a plan: the global consumption of oil is cca 100 million barrels a day. (If driving a car for 1km emits 160grams of CO2, you don't want to know what damage 100 million barrels a day can do. And that's just 1 single day.) Oil prices are now at $65. Not so long ago they have reached $135. And we still used it. Thus out demand flexibility is not all that price dependent in the short run if it comes to oil. Anyways, Achim Steiner suggests we add an additional $10 tax per barrel. And in 150 days you generate $150 billion. The money needed to get these guys (BRIC) going. Of course, it's not this plain simple, but it's DOABLE.
Straightforward, solution oriented. You put the moeny on the table and then can start talking again about fixing the climate.
It's already quite late. If we miss out on the opportunity in Copenhagen to reach an agreement, we've officially agreed to ... put an end to human race on Earth. Our choice.

On Competence

2009-06-14T18:26:00.002+02:00

When one starts their career, they are unsure of things they say, tend to listen rather than share input and opinions. Just recently, I have had the honor to meet some people from the world´s undebatable number 1 consultancy. We were talking about one of the global crises humanity is currently facing. I thought to myself: I care about this issue, but these guys are the best in the world in their capacity, they are the most competent to lead the trend of research / action.
So I stayed put. Until I started listening deeper and realized, that these guys have the numbers right no doubt, but they have the passion missing. And without deeply caring for a topic, you cannot see the big picture and its nuances . Without doing so, no comprehensive and effective action is possible.
They may have been the most competent in "hardware" - the facts, but lagged behind in contextualizing, understanding the subtleness of certain approaches and issues.
Bottom line, we need to join efforts if we want to stand a chance in fixing the system. But will we join efforts? I wish we did, but for some reasons our history does not seem to suggest that we will. Nevertheless, let´s not extrapolate history but build a new future! With competence on the hardware and software alike :-)

Channeling energy & Horses

2009-06-03T23:15:00.003+02:00

I feel ups and downs and look for the recipe to avoid them. I mean, I really don´t mind ups, but when I´m down, it´s better not to be around me :-( People have been telling me for a while to manage my energy, so I tried some yoga lessons, which was good for my back pain, but since I failed at looking at my own thoughts as if they were just passing in front on my eyes, it did not help me let go of things and centering my energy.
I thought that was ok. It still feels ok, when I am up. But not when I am down.
And today I heard another simple reason why I should find a way to manage my energy: So, when I am down, I feel like I am without any energy at all. But then I cannot pull myself up. Which sucks. Coz you´re down and you stay there. Not the coolest place to be, that´s for sure.
So, today I had the chance to focus on a problem and talk to a horse. Well, the horse wasn´t listening, but I was trying to make it walk around me, even trot. First the horse pushed its face into mine. Apparently, I wasn´t authoritative enough. It´s difficult to think straight and act authoritatively with a horse in you face, I can tell you that. So, ok, after some calming down and spending time to center my energy, the horse started walking. But not the way I wanted. After an hour, though, I felt pretty relieved, when I told the horse to gallop and it did. Bottom line, when you center your energy and tell the horse to do something, it does it. When you pretend to be an authority, the horse pushes its face into yours. Horses feel when you pretend to be something or when you really are "it".
Learning of the day: Work with horses and you´ll learn to channel you energy.
Or the other way round: Any time you start feeling that your energy is leaving you, imagine thatthere´s a horse you want to gallop around you. Focus on it. It will help you center your energy and prevent you from deflating completely from one second to the other...
Hehe, let´s see if it works for me. Will give an update later this year :-)

The Traffic Light Button

2009-06-02T22:12:00.004+02:00

If you have spent some time in Amsterdam (an the same may apply to many other cities of the world), you know the buttons you are meant to push by the traffic light so that it eventually turns green for your direction. There are different types of buttons, but the most common one is a button you press and without receiving any minor light or sound signal, you wait for the traffic light to turn green. Most of the time, waiting seems to long and you press it again. Or just keep pressing it or keep pushing it with a 20*/sec frequency until the light turns green.
In theory, just one push is enough. The problem is, that since you not not receive a signal back, you keep wondering if your "action" will cause any "reaction".
On mornings when its not raining, I find this "button pushing" an interesting metaphor for several moments in our everyday, when you "inject energy" into something, but do not know for a long time, if it's worth it. If your investment (not necessarily monetary) will have its returns, if your efforts are worth it. Interestingly enough, I find it a good tool to help me understand why businesses often think in short terms. Long terms, without immediately knowing if your efforts are worth it can be excruciating. I am an impatient type. Maybe it's an illusion to think that I would think in long term if I was to lead a company.
But I like to entertain this illusion.

How intelligent are you?

2009-05-28T12:59:00.003+02:00

Rasie your hand if you would not like to be considered as an intelligent person. Since we all want to come across as intelligent people (IQ wise), no wonder Facebook came up with an IQ test. Everybody comes up with short IQ tests. So often that even if you actually dislike these tests, one day you catch yourself trying to fill one out online.
Same goes for me. The other day I was going to take an instant IQ test online. Having answered 9 questions, a message pops up saying I am really stupid for having thought that 9 questions can determine my real intelligence.
Ok, fair enough.
So, today I decided to set up Google Analytics for my blog - I wonder how many people actually visit my blog. But I never read a manual, I am smarter than that. And I could not install the application. So my colleague who is a knowledge management expert asks me "Have you read the manual?". I get furious, but still I read it. Good. Now I know in principle how to do it. Another 30 minutes of trying...frustration. So my other colleague, hands on and considerate, asks me, "Why don't you wait until we have time to help you and then we can do it much faster - rather than you wasting your time now".
Well, in my part of the world, you know best and hate relying on other people's knowledge. So I went like "I can do it, don't you worry". And I ultimately did it. All by myself. With the manual open. Tremendous satisfaction. I knew I could do it. I just wasted some time :-)
Then I thought that this was not very intelligent of me. I did not minimize my efforts. I was stubborn. But I succeeded in the end. Did this equip me with a skill that will eventually make me feel even more intelligent?
I wonder.
And then, my favourite: emotional intelligence. Coz I have loads of it - so I thought, anyways. I am helpful. Helpful is being nice. Doing things for other people. Doing the same things that I hate it they offer me. Hm...So I upset people? I frustrate them sometimes with my helpfulness. Oh, does that mean that since helpfulness is not directly related to emotional intelligence, I just turn out to be ... not emotionall intelligent as I thought I was? I am not as structured and straightforward as I could / should be?
Another revelation. I really enjoy challenging my assumptions (I build several hundred assumptions a day). Today is a constant refaming and I smile to myself and wonder about intelligence.
I hope this post does not come across as an environmentally conscious one. Because it's not supposed to be about that :-)
It's simply about the intelligence and the lack of it.
As one of my Facebook freinds said the other day:
Artificial intelligence cannot replace natural stupidity.
Strong statement, but I really liked it (since I of course do not belong to either of the groups referred to in the statement :-)

Staying with it

2009-05-22T15:36:00.002+02:00

If I say "Stay with it", does it ring a bell?
I see all these amazing and energizing people around, wanting the change, being the change. Most of them are from Generation Y. And then I look at the generation of the Flower power and of the Spring of 1969. And now I see corporate faces, not embracing the energy and efforts of the current pioneers of change. I wonder why?
Do people "lose it"? Why don't they "stay with it" - with their passion, energy, commitment? Where do we "lose it" on the road?
Well, of course not everybody loses it. But those who truly stay with deep humanistic values, do not often make it into the board rooms. They built their local communities, schools, groups of friends. That is where they bring about change. They are not quite as high leverage people as CEOs. But the truly connected people may not dream of becoming CEOs. Since career doens't really truly matter.
It looks like we have two streams: those who lose it and become heads of major organisations and those who don't lose it and never make the system turn around. Well, this is what I have observed in the older generation.
So the question is: how can our generation make sure that the strems do not split: that people "stay with it" and become high leverage individuals.
Or: is that really the way at all?

Life expectancy

2009-05-14T14:19:00.004+02:00

I am somewhere between 20 and 30 years old. Much closer to the 30 than to the 20, by the way. As I was trying to convince myself last night at the gym to move my muscles (and the rest of my body) a bit, I just randomly observed the other visitors of the gym. Aged between cca. 19 and 75. Do I try to work out a bit to live longer? (And also not to have the backpain from sitting in front of my Toshiba 8 hours a day.) I think ultimately the wish to live a longer life is at least part of the package.
So today I looked up on wikipedia (where else :-)) how did life expectancy develop over time. I found out I would be heading towards the upper limit of average age in Classical Greece, Classical Rome, Medieval Britain or the Pre-Columbian North America. In the Neolithic and Bronze age, I would probably be dead by now...
So there's a lot to appreciate! Even the soft wrinkles appearing on my forehead (that I keep flattering myself about - due to the amount of thinking I do :-)).
I asked myself how long I would like to live? As long as I am happy and healthy, of course. How selfish...but true!!! And I expect to be healthy because I keep fit and drag my tired body to the gym every now and then :-)

Taking pictures at concerts

2009-05-01T14:11:00.002+02:00

I have left my buoyant metatheoretical clumsiness behind for a day. We went to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert in Paradiso. Awesome!
Except for the people who were taking pictures with flashes throughout the concert (and especially documented the roadies before the concert very miticulously). Man, if I was the artist, I wouldn't be able to concentrate. I would probably want them out of the room!
And then my other favourite thing is taller people with a hiardo taking up at least 1/3 cubig meter standing in front of you (you being me, 160 cm with shoes on). So first you don't see a thing. Then you have your face and mouth full of the hair of the other person in front of you who is having a blast. And once they start jumping and pushing each other, you start wondering why bother going to a concert next time.
Not that I could enjoy the parformance ....
Now, from a metatheoretical perspective, I should have let go and melt into the flow of the crowd to experience the oneness. It seems, even though I wish it wasn't so, my oneness with my surroundings still has a clear limit.

The Call

2009-04-22T13:02:00.003+02:00

I should be doing something, but am not sure what it is and where to start. So I get involved in all kinds of small projects, initiate this and that, but always keep some distance. Because the thing is, I have not quite yet found the moment that would trigger my transformation, that would kick start me on my journey to....not sure where to.
I am no Susan Boyle on XY's got talent, I am no mum who realised that her kid did not fit in the conventional education institution and thus opened an alternative school, I am also no Stephen Hawking not being able to really speak and yet showing humanity new dimensions of knowledge. I feel I should go out there and seize the opportunity. But as soon as I take the first step, I become unsure of my true deep passion for what I want to do. Or...does this true deep passion matter at all? I have already felt is maybe too many times and forgot which one was the greatest and the lasting one...
I really need to discover my "way of expressing" myself, even though it won't be singing, painting or playing an instrument...There is too much locked inside of us, I really admire people who can let it out...
And in the meanwhile I'll wait for that moment, that call, when I just look around and start seeing the connections, the interlinkedness of all that has always been there, but I have been oblivious to.
What is it that helps you express yourself? And have you had the "enlightning moment"? What changed afterwards?

How are you?

2009-04-13T12:54:00.002+02:00

Well, there are many answers to this questions, even though most of the time we say "fine, thanks".
This time the question is actually about your personality. There are so many diagnostics you can use to find out more about yourself. For a bunch of these tests, go to the TIME magazine, to find out how you are, who you fit best with professionally, what incentive structure works for you, what are your strengths and pitfalls. This all sounds great and I understand it's value added for my professional development, but I cannot help it but feel "boxed". You are type XY and thus this is how you are, how we'll treat you in order to get you where you need to be....
Well, I do not know myself too well, but think that over time I'll take several diagnostics to help me in my path, I have just not yet figured out, how to avoid feeling trapped in my "type".
Any ideas? Thanks in advance!

Change your thinking

2009-04-13T12:38:00.003+02:00

... or at least challenge it. And by saying WorldChanging, nobody expects you to take the burden of changing the world on your shoulder. Rather read their mission: "...we believe that real solutions already exist for building the future we want. It's just a matter of grabbing hold and getting moving. "
Is it naive to think we all wish for a certain kind of future? How much longer will green remain hip and attract people and who will be the people who want to integrate sustainability into the core of being and decision making? And how will that happen?
Anyways, an interesting and inspiring "positive news" website is at World Changing.
Enjoy making a difference. Or just go outside and enjoy the sun :-)

Sustain your energy

2009-04-05T18:48:00.003+02:00

I think with the spring cleaning came also the idea of cleaning up the inside - not quite a detox, more like revisiting old forgotten ideas and initiatives. So, once upon a time I wanted to make an exhibition on Europe (taking pictures of things that contain the word Europe in their name - such as EuropCar, Europa Bank and many many others). I never got round to it. Then I started a blog on adaptation to climate change. Passionate as I still am about the adaptation to climate change, I have totally neglected my blog. I also wanted to learn how to play the piano. And then the guitar. But I hve not done either.
People say you have to force yourself to do something for 100 days, every day, and then it will become a habit. My problem with doing something for 100 days in order for it to become a habit is that if I do X, there are millions of other things I may want to do in that time, but I am not doing those things, because my habit now is X. And we can only fit a limited anount of habits into our 24hrs per day, I am afraid. So how should one convince him/herself that X is really important and a worthwhile investment of our time and should make it a habit and sustain the energy and passion for it?
I am asking this now as I have caught myself having a bunch of relatievly new habits and I am still not convinced I want to keep them. But they might come in handy in the longer term. So, carpe diem or let´s get organized?

Just beacause I'm nice, don't assume I'm dumb

2009-03-27T08:35:00.003+01:00

This is the title of an article in the Harvard Business Journal from February 2009. I found it yesterday and realized how true, yet odd it is, that being nice (or at least trying) makes one look harmless, too sweet and naive, and not necessarily worth being promoted or listened to. Once we meet somebody, we assess them - and we see warmth and competence as inversely related. So if somebody sees you as competent, they won't expect you to offer them a coffee at the office when you make yourself one.
I wonder why that is so. In my ultimate frustration I can just say they are rude and lack good social education and humility. Other call them competent.
Suit yourself. I just feel very motivated now to prove this stereotype wrong. There are smart and beautiful blond women, too. Let's get over our outdated paradigms!!!
Thank you :-)

ACT Responsible

2009-03-27T08:30:00.004+01:00

I love ads. Creative ones. And it frustrates me to see on tv how it's "scientifically" proven that one one cheese is better than the other. They are so full of preservatives, anyways. So, recently I came across ACT Responsible, which stands for Advertising Community Together. The ads they make are creative, fun, and for a purpose. Just check them out at http://www.adforum.com/affiliates/creative_archive/2007/ACT/simglist.asp

So that what?

2009-03-26T08:11:00.003+01:00

As anybody else, I also get sometimes very stuck in loops of dreaming and giving up. But in order to make things happen, one has to get over the "passive" loops and move into action. Which I fail to do most of the time :-) But every now and then I realize there are simple formulas out there that could help, such as the one I just read in Dutch recently. So, once you have an idea and you what to make it happen and asked yourself the question "So that what?" - e.g. I want to make XY happen in order to impact my community in ABC way - you can develop your project around the 7 (Dutch) Ds:
Dromen - Dream
Denken - Think
Durven - Dare
Doen - Do
Doorgaan - Keep on doing
Delen - Divide
Doorgeven - Pass on
This sounds like it can ensure the decentralised continuity and growth of truly beneficial projects. Such as the Global Oneness Project. More on this later :-)

Long time no write

2009-03-20T15:02:00.004+01:00

... no time.
Time spent on things I wish I actually did not spend time on. Many new creative ideas. Nothing is materializing. And the world goes round! Then times come when you meet those who are dear to you and have a great time together, but do not really have the space to have longer conversations with clearer conclusions. Then you realize there are unfinished projects at work, then you realize that you aren't devoting enough time to your home, your food, your health, basically nothing around you gets the attention it deserves. Step on the break. No effect.
Sleep less. Works, but productivity goes down. Call your mum, catch up with friends, clarify old misunderstandings, plan you summer holiday, plant a tree, build your community...oops, forgot to stay in touch with friends again.
What is so wrong with us?
Oh, adopt a child on distance since you do not have the time to go there ant build a village for them and provide them with safe drinking water....oooh, the summer is here, time to go out with friends. I still haven't finished the book I started reading months ago, even though it's one of the greatest books I ever came across. I should not be updating my blog right now but
1) finishing a proposal
2) taking a shower
3) cleaning the apartment
4) trying to catch up with friends
5) reading about environmental finance
6) enjoying the first spring sun
7) figuring out what to cook for friends who are coming over for dinner tomorrow
8) sewing my boyfriend's socks (oh, how ashamed I am when he takes his shoes off ....)
9) my back hurts, I should go to the gym. skipped yoga class on Wednesday again....
What a circle of should do, need to do, want to do...and I should also listen to the podcasts of getting things done. But I am ...not always up to noise. Sounds. I just like silence. And lots of light. And I like to see the end of me task list. I guess for that I should fundamentally restructure my life and go to a farm and be energy independent, have a bunch of solar panels, lots of flowers, a figue tree and a couple of orange trees, have a distant view of the sea and big piano that I want to learn to play and get down to it.
Great dreams!
Daring ones. And I hope somewhat positive ones. I am willing to share them. Would you like to join?

Sustainability twisted

2009-02-16T22:44:00.004+01:00

So the other day I paid a visit to my former employer. I was walking down the corridor, greeting acquaintances and new recruits. I have noticed that they were largely ladies in the office. After all, this is an NGO. At some point I had to realize that out of the 20 women I have seen, 3 were pregnant. Hm, I thought to myself, in this place they must have an excellent maternal leave policy. I could not help it but mention to the HR director. Right when I did so a girl who has just started working gave me a laugh. She said:"You wish, when I started I had to sign a paper stating that I am not planning to have a child in the next two years!" I looked at the HR director with dibelief, saying: "I had no idea that an NGO promoting sustainability in the world can offer such unfair labour conditions. This is unsustainable." She smiled back at me saying:"And do you think it is sustainable for me to keep chasing talented young people and once they start working here they just go on maternal leave? Well, I do not think my labour conditions would be sustainable if I had to constantly keep recruiting new people."
I have to admit, she had a point. It is interesting how sometimes the individual sustainability (fair labour conditions of the HR director) go against the sustainability of the bigger unit (general labout conditions at the organisation). Hm...I guess eventually more men may start working at this NGO.

Wants and Needs

2009-02-15T17:56:00.004+01:00

The entire science of marketing is set up to satisfy our needs, but also our wants. To turn our wants into perceived needs. To come up with something that we were perfectly happy without and first turn in into a desire and ultimately make us believe that we cannot go on without it.
The financial crisis has numerous negative sides, no doubt about it. People losing their homes, jobs, their future...many people are faced with conditions that they may have not thought would ever be possible. When one has to give up their lifestyle, they have to revisit the deeper self and re-evaluate the values, the needs and desires. It is possible that many of us will realize that there are many things we got used to using, but ultimately, they were not our needs. Simply our desires. A Magnum Temptation cannot qualify as a need. Food and drinking water does. As long as not everybody on the planet has access to it, why are we constantly coming up with more "potentially desired" products and turning our back to those who pay the price of our lifestyle?
I have to admit, that Magnum Temptation does taste great... Could it turn into a perceived need? Is the financial crisis the right time to revisit our definitions of wants and needs?

What we say - What we feel - What we do

2009-02-13T18:08:00.005+01:00

I am using this picture even though I probably should not, as it is not mine. I feel bad, but I still do it. I say (write) the truth, because I think by lying I could get into much more trouble. What I do, feel and say are totally not aligned. I hope the holy tantric man in the picture is better off in this case. Making music is a much more enriching experience than talking. Believes me, who cannot play any instrument.
So anyways, the point is that sometimes we do things with a good intention, but it does not come across that well. At other occasions, we have the best talk, but simply would not move to action. And then there are the times when we say what we feel and we do it and we feel great about it. I would have to examine my memory a bit to discover when was the last time that happened, since more recent and not so positive experiences are currently obscuring my view (memory) of my glorious moments in the past ;-)
Anyways, happy Valentine's day to everybody!!!
Today is however Friday the 13th and somehow I feel it ...

Love is the new money

2009-01-28T15:24:00.003+01:00

What a ridiculous comment, no? I saw it in the newspaper this morning and thought, how pathetic. And then I thought of the value of love and the value of money. And their measurability (which caused a bit of a headache since money is much easier to measure than love).
So then I looked at it again: Love is the new money.
Money used to have a value (an agreed one). Love has an absolute value. Love is a safe bet. Real, authentic, caring, connected LOVE. It's like an alternative currency that will never lose its value. Love (when money looses out on its importance) is becoming the new money. The sentence in itself suggests a paradigm shift.
A radical change. It seems that impatient idelists, like myself, wait every day for the paradigm shift. And by the way, if you allocate money with love, there would be no global South. Neither global North. Hmmm...there you go, food for thought

Creativity and Innovation

2009-01-28T14:18:00.002+01:00

Did you know that 2009 is the European Year of Creativity and Innovation? Well, now you know :-) The official ceremony marking the commencement of this year took place in Brussels where at Vienna Vegetable Orchestra gave a concert (http://www.gemueseorchester.org/). It is a worthwhile experience to listen to a small piece by them on youtube.
I like this initiative because it comes across as a fresh approach to celebrating nature. Not only does vegetable feed us, but it provides us with leisure, with beauty. I guess most musical instruments were inspired by vegetables. And fruits. And animals. All the natural things surrounding us. It's a "back to the roots 21st century edition". It's creative and innovative, yet not tech. It's elegant, it's simple, it's natural....I am just not sure the artists eat the vegetable after they paly music on it...even if they don't they have my vote!

Professions

2009-01-11T17:33:00.002+01:00

It is interesting to see how over time some professions disappear (the traditional hand labor) and others take their place (mainly in the service industry). Imagine somebody having worked at the counter giving our refunds for returned bottles in the grocery store. Just think about working there for years, knowing your customers by name, being part of the "grocery store community". Then one day they bring in the machines that sort the bottles and print receipts that allow your for a discount at the cashier. The person who worked at the counter is not needed any more. A machine has replaced him. Every day new machines seem to be taking jobs over from humans. I have to admit the washing machine is nice, I do not mind not having to wash the clothes in a river by hand. Machines are supposed to make our lives easier. To allow us to do other things that we otherwise would not have time for. But to what extent to they make us feel useless and superfluous and in the end just make us spend more time staring at the TV/PC screen and indeed be passive and superfluous in some respect?

New Year's Resolution

2009-01-02T12:34:00.005+01:00

So, another year is over. This was a pretty exciting one for me. My first real job, my professional and personal learning, living happily with my boyfriend, being surrounded by great people, traveling a bit, having no REAL concerns in life.... Except for the question marks around the future. But those we always have, right?
Actually, all I wanted was to enter 2009 without any due to-dos from 2008. I think it worked quite well. But in order to maintain continuity, of course there were many things overlapping from 2008 to 2009.
This year I would like to read more, do more cultural stuff, speak less and learn to give and receive more and better feedback. And figure out how to bring "connectedness" to life in everything I do. I may need some guidance on this front.
How about you?

Learning Dutch

2008-12-16T23:09:00.003+01:00

This post serves 2 purposes:
1) I can finally show off that I started taking Dutch classes - all for free, as my Inburgerings Cursus (I am going to be "citizenned")
2) Share a thought I had on Saturday when I was all excited to do my homework. So, there was this exercise in which I had to put the verb in particular form. One of them said: Ik ben een sigaret aan het roken. (I am smoking a cigarette.) So I smiled to myself. And then I realized, that in most language books the exercises are always politically correct and straightforward. I thought making me write a sentence about me smoking and me not being a smoker is maybe a bit of a stretch. And then I thought, how authentic it is from the authors of the book to use this sentence. And also, why is it that most exercises are not like this. That they are politically correct? Why is it that we want to show a great and noble and "non-smoking" image of ourselves when creating a book for foreigners who want to learn our language? Once they learn it, they're going to find out anyway what we really stand for... Is is hypocrisy or are we trying to live up to the image we want others to have of us?
I hope to know more by the end of the second book...

Guerilla Art Kit

2008-12-10T16:57:00.002+01:00

I got this cool present from some frineds of mine, it's called Guerilla Art Kit - it's about making your environment nicer, greener, better and help others feel good in the greyness of everydays. You can make personal presents for others, spend time thinking about them and creating something for them. Not as convenient as Xlas shopping last minute at the mall, but I hope it communicates a different message to those you care about. Just like sending Xmas cards :-)

Health Insurance Company

2008-11-20T18:40:00.002+01:00

So, as you probably know, health insurance rules are different in each EU Member State. Insurance companies' immunity and persistance makes moving around Europe sometimes hell. In some countries you have a public insurance, elsewhere a compulsory privave one and in other countries a combination of the two. You have to subscribe to them at different ages in each country and better bear in mind your (un)employment status as well as length of stay in the given country.
Yesterday I picked up the phone, ready to call my local health insurance and ask them to issue a confirmation of my insurance that will allow me to terminate my contract with the public insurer in another country. I was at unease, not wanting to go throught the whole explanation and getting the response "Why do you people move around so much". After all, one of these years (was it 2006?) was the European Year of Mobility, and yes, there are plenty of low cost airlines, only bureaucracy makes life hell at any destination. I just want a piece of paper with a stamp and signature on it.
So with these not so pink thoughts in my mind, I picked up the phone and dialled a number I found on the insurance company's website (I was sure they would transfer me 20 times before anybody will listen to me).
The phone rang on the other end and somebody (!) picked up after 2 rings. This person was not only real, but also fluent in English. After a 10 second short talk I shared my request with the gentleman on the other end of the line. He listened and asked for my postal code and house number. After he identified me, he said I can expect the English version of the requested document in 2-3 working days at my home address. I thanked him, still in disbelief, and hung up.
What has just happened? A massive insurance company finally got the message through to its employees: Customer first? Or was this person new at his job and did not have the longing to leave, yet? Or was he just kidding me...
I cannot be sure as the document has not arrived, yet. But I am hopeful. And still, laughing at myself as all my negative energy and preparation for war was in vain. At least I hope so :-)